


I Saw You in a Dream Once

by FudgingPastry



Series: Dream Demon [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Demons, Drug Use, Humanstuck, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FudgingPastry/pseuds/FudgingPastry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cronus' life is terrible until he meets a tall stranger who promises that his miracles can change his life. Relunctantly, Cronus takes the drugs the stranger gives him and begins having these wonderful and great dreams. His life gets much better, especially once he meets a young man named Kankri. But as Cronus takes the stranger's miracles, he realizes that there is something else at play here. Something that is much more dangerous and just a little demonic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Come, my children! Come and let me spin you a tale of loss and love and hate and fears. Come and listen to the softness of my words. Hear me speak within your mind, my voice still ringing in your ears as you fall asleep. Come! Come and listen to the murmurs of the highest of beings. Come and listen as the high and holy messiahs speak! Come, my children. I promise we’ll treat you good. We’ll treat you good and bring those mirthful smiles back from the depths of the hell you live in. We’ll treat you good. We’ll make all those terrible and horrible demons disappear. We’ll treat you good. No charge, no side effects, guaranteed to change your life. Come, my children._

♑♋♑♒♑

Cronus groaned as his alarm clock blared at him. Muttering and cursing, he slammed his hand down on the snooze button and rolled back over. Ten minutes later, the clock went off again and he pushed himself up. He glared at the clock, but he stood up and shut the alarm off. He lifted his tired eyes to look out the window and sighed. It was another fucking cloudy day. Maybe it would rain this time instead of hanging around, not quite threatening, but always there. He stepped over to his dresser and yanked it open, grabbing a relatively nice pair of jeans, some underwear, and a button-down shirt. He threw these over his shoulder and walked half-awake to his bathroom and turned on the shower.

Once in the shower, Cronus closed his eyes, letting the hot water wake him up. He thought about the night before. He thought about the girl he had picked up and he thought about how nice she felt against him and he thought about how he brought her home only to have her leave half-way through because he wasn’t enough for her. His shoulders drooped and a feeling of inadequacy burrowed a hole into him. He finished his shower, dressed, and wandered into the apartment’s small, gray kitchen. Cronus bent down and pulled open the refrigerator, staring at the emptiness of the fridge. He needed to go and buy food again. He reached in and grabbed some cold pizza and tossed it into the microwave. As the pizza heated, he started some coffee. The microwave beeped and he grabbed a fork and sat down to eat the pizza at his small table. As soon as he sat down, the coffeemaker beeped and he sighed, but stood up and grabbed his coffee.

A half hour later and he was out the door, half-panicked because he was almost late for work. He ran down the street, checking the time whenever he could, and slammed into something solid. Dazed, he backed up, apologizing and ran around the person, but not before he got a quick look at the person’s tattooed face. A moment later and he slowed, feeling an odd sense of dread and turned back. But the man seemed to have moved on and oh, shit, he was going to be late for work!

Cronus sat at his desk in his cubicle. He had been three minutes late to work, but he rushed to his desk, turned on the computer, and checked all he had to do that day. Right away, he received an email asking where so-and-so file was, when it was coming, and how oh so important it was and Cronus cursed, cupping his face in his hands. He typed out an apology and promised he would send the file soon. The only reply he received was a simple, but agitated “Good.” He went searching for the file, didn’t find it on his computer, realized it was on his flash drive, and so looked in his bag.

It wasn’t in his bag. A sense of dread dropped into the pit of his stomach as he backtracked through the use of his drive. He used it way back on Friday and brought it home, used it once on Saturday before going out that night, then… Then what? Was it at home? Did he misplace it? Did he check his whole bag? Yes, yes he did. Then where was it? At home? Probably at home… Oh fuck, it was at home!

Before blowing into a full blown panic, he emailed the person who needed the email. Mr. Nereus, right? Cronus frowned, typing frantically. He asked how soon he needed the file. The reply took longer than he anticipated, but when it came, Cronus could almost  _hear_  the anger behind the text of the email.

**I need the file now! Right now! Oh God, you didn’t lose the file did you? Oh God, you lost it! Ampora, I will personally see to it that you are punished for this! You would be better off left on the streets**

Cronus stopped reading, closing the email and standing to peer over his cubicle wall to his neighbor. Sollux Captor, a fresh out of college employee, typed away at his computer. Sollux didn’t even pause, didn’t even look up as he addressed his co-worker.

“What do you want, Ampora?” Cronus flinched at Sollux’s irritated tone.

“You know that file you helped me with?”

“You mean the one you tried making, failed miserably at, and came crawling to me to make it for you? What about it?”

“Well, I…” Sollux paused in his typing, his hands resting on the keyboard.

“Ampora, you didn’t do what I think you did.” Sollux looked at Cronus, his expression one of complete and utter irritation and exasperation. He saw the look on his co-worker’s face and he pushed away from his desk. “You lost it, didn’t you,” Cronus nodded. “Fucking… All right, I’ll send it to you again. But this is the last time I cover your ass, got it Ampora?” Cronus nodded again, thanking him. He disappeared behind the wall as Sollux muttered about no good Amporas. Cronus received the file a few minutes later and, after promising Sollux a drink, he sent the file to Mr. Nereus.

The rest of the day passed with barely any bumps and Cronus was proud to say that he was fairly productive. He left work a little pleased with himself. As he walked home, he stopped by an alley to take a moment and smoke. He lit the cigarette and breathed it in and out and watched the smoke trail up.

“Got a light?” The low voice near his ear made Cronus jump and he turned to see the speaker. The speaker was a man taller than Cronus’ 6 foot height. Cronus blinked, quickly recognizing the man’s face. It was the guy he bumped into that morning. The man’s face was completely tattooed like one of those candy skulls during Day of the Dead celebrations. Cronus also noticed the many piercings on the guy’s face and the rest of the skeletal tattoos running down the man’s body when the man spoke again.

“Come on, help a brother out,” The man lifted a cigarette and Cronus clumsily handed the lighter over. The man took it with a quiet ‘thank you’ and cupped his hand over both the lighter and the cigarette. A few moments later and smoke trickled out of the cracks between his fingers. He handed the lighter back to Cronus and leaned against the wall. A strange mixture of dread and peace settled over Cronus, but he ignored it for the most part.

“Rough day at work?” The other spoke again and Cronus glanced sideways at him. The man glanced back, shrugged and turned his head.

“Yeah, but normal day, you know,” Cronus answered, the feeling of dread growing slightly. The man didn’t reply and Cronus turned away. People passed the two at the alley, some giving side glances or frowning. The man beside him gave off an unnerving vibe. Might have been the tattoos or the towering height or something completely different, but most people seemed to stay as far from him as possible. Some people, though, seemed to unconsciously move closer as if they were drawn to the strange man. As Cronus lost himself in his thoughts, he missed what the man said when he spoke again.

“…motherfucking make you feel good. So good you’ll be hailing the mirthful messiahs the rest of your life. What do ya think, my brother?”

“Uh, what?”

“Were you not all up and listening to a brother? I was saying that these things,” he waved the half-burned cigarette around. “They don’t do a motherfucker any good. Rot you from the inside out. Nah, I got something much better for a brother. Treat ya real good.” Cronus stared at the man, the feeling of peace completely gone as the man smiled. “No charge, no side effects, guaranteed to change your life.” Cronus stepped away from the wall, lifting his hands up.

“I don’t know what you’re on man, but I don’t want any part of it.” The man dropped the cigarette on the ground, the tattooed stitches on his mouth creased as various emotions flickered over his face until he landed on a smile that stretched those tattoos a little too wide.

“Motherfucking miracles, brother. Thanks for the light.” The man turned and walked away. Cronus looked behind him to see if anyone else had caught the exchange. No one seemed to care. When Cronus looked back, he couldn’t see the man anywhere. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air. Cronus shook his head and walked back home, the feeling of eyes on his back following him all the way.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re… what?” Cronus stood in his boss’ office, the head of the company staring down at him expressionless as Mr. Nereus grinned maliciously. The head of the company, Costel “Dualscar” Ampora, also known as Cronus’ father, stepped around his desk to stand in front of Cronus.

“We’re firing you. It has come to my attention that you have been repeatedly late for work, you have lost files and other similar things, and you have bribed your coworkers to cover for your inadequacy. We have no time for lazy and unreliable workers and our toleration of you has been going on for far too long. Mr. Ampora, you are fired. Now gather your belongings and leave.” Dualscar stepped around Cronus and out the door. Once he was gone, Mr. Nereus laughed uproariously. Cronus growled and left the office, going to his cubicle and gathering his belongings. Sollux didn’t even look up from his computer; although his hands stilled as Cronus passed him on his was out.

Cronus hiked the bag over his shoulder and carried a box of his things in his right hand as he walked home slowly. The clouds above him darkened as he walked and a few minutes later he felt a small raindrop on his cheek. He sighed, his mood darkening. As he lifted his face to the sky, there was a crack of thunder and suddenly he was caught in a downpour. Cursing, Cronus looked around for shelter. Seeing an awning he ran over to it. At one point, his foot caught on something and he tripped, landing in a dirty puddle of rain water. The box of his things went flying and scattered. He pushed himself from the puddle only to slip on the slick surface of the sidewalk and fall down again into the puddle.

He shouted a string of curses, anger surging through him at his own failures and at the terribleness of his day and soon he was lying in the puddle, soaked through and crying. He was done with his shithole of a life. He was done with this. All he wanted was one sunny day, one happy moment, one perfect dream that he would never wake from.

And then a pair of black shoes stopped in front of his face. The owner of the shoes seemed to stand and look down at him for a while; Cronus didn’t care to look up. Then the owner of the shoes squatted and held out his hand. Cronus now lifted his head to stare into the skull faced man from the other day. Cronus stared at him suspiciously before the man sighed.

“Take the hand, motherfucker. I ain’t gonna bite.” Cronus grabbed the man’s hand and the man helped him up. The man brushed him off as best as he could – it was still pouring – and handed Cronus’ drenched things back to him. The man then led him to a coffee shop, nodding at the girl at the counter as he and Cronus sat down at a table hidden in a corner of the room. The man sat in a chair so that he could see all of the coffee shop with a simple turn of his head. Cronus sat across from him, seeing only the man and the decorated wall behind him. Cronus shifted, completely soaked through his clothes and completely uncomfortable.

He tried looking at anything besides at the man sitting across from him – which was nearly impossible – and looked at the painted wall. The wall depicted what looked to be a demon with strings attached to his fingers. The demon’s eyes were a glowing purple and its entire torso seemed devoid of skin, muscles, and most of its organs, leaving behind only bones and a chunky, black mess dripping from its insides. At the top of the demon’s head two large horns spiraled up as it grinned wickedly down. The strings seemed to be tied to a multitude of people though Cronus couldn’t see any of their faces as that part of the mural was hidden behind their table. The man sat exactly in the middle of the mural so that the demon seemed to almost rise from him. This only contributed to the sick feeling growing in the pit of Cronus’ stomach.

“Hot?” Cronus snapped out of his thoughts, staring at the man. Seeing that Cronus hadn’t understood him, he repeated his question. “Coffee: black, hot, cold, with cream or sugar?” The man gestured in the direction of the counter.

“Oh, no. I’m fine. No thank you.” Cronus shook his head, his eyes drifting back up to the mural. The man nodded, but gestured for Cronus’ attention again. He gestured to himself.

“Kurloz.” He nodded to Cronus, pointing at him.

“The name’s Cronus. Uh, nice to meet you Kurloz?” Kurloz smiled, the tattoos of stitches stretching. They sat for a few more minutes before Kurloz spoke up.

“Bad day, motherfucker?” He chuckled in his deep voice as if he already knew the answer. Cronus only looked away, narrowing his eyes. “Looking for a miracle?” Cronus flicked his gaze back to Kurloz; the man was still smiling.

“Look chief. If you’re trying to sell me something, I’ll tell you I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want any of your miracles if it means I’m gonna be shivering in an alley, looking for my next fix.” Kurloz leaned back in his chair, lifting his hands so his palms faced Cronus, that fucking smile still plastered on his face.

“No charge, no side effect,  _guaranteed_  to change your life,” he blinked slowly. “I promise my little miracles won’t have you shivering in an alley. Far from it, brother. Here, brother, I can see you don’t trust me. Most people wouldn’t. But I can see that your life’s gone to shit. I know that look, brother. I’ve seen it a thousand times. Your life’s gone to shit and every single motherfucker thinks he can crawl out of it. Some do and they call themselves the lucky ones. I call them liars. You can crawl out of that hole, but it keeps coming back to swallow ya up. If you don’t find a hand to hold, someone to bring ya back, that motherfucking hole’s gonna keep coming after ya. Brother, I’m offering you a hand to hold before you all up and get consumed.

“So what do you say? No charge. No side effect. Guaranteed to change your life.” Kurloz held out his right hand, his wide smile still there. Something in Cronus’ head was waving red flags, but something else wondered, what if he’s telling the truth? It asked, if you could have one good moment, would you take it? One bright, sunny day amongst a week of clouds and rain, would it be worth it? Already drained and tired from the shitty day, that small voice won. He reached out and firmly shook Kurloz’s hand while in the back of his mind wondering if he just sold his soul to the devil.


	3. Chapter 3

Cronus stared at the unlabeled pill bottle Kurloz had given to him. He closed his eyes, hearing the man’s deep voice in his ears.

_“Now brother, you need to listen to me. My miracles are not like those things you’ve been smoking. Some choose to call it ‘medication’. Hate that word, but if it works for a motherfucker, then I have no room to judge. Feel free to call me your doctor if you wish, brother. But in all seriousness, take only one of these a day, every day. Only one. Any more and my miracles may be too much to handle. You need a higher dosage, come and find me before you do anything.”_

_“What if I miss a day? You know, if I don’t take it one day.”_

_“Hmm, can’t say. It’s different for everyone, but I promise you won’t end up in an alley with no idea how ya got there. Remember, only one miracle a day.”_

“Only one, huh?” Cronus narrowed his eyes at the bottle, his common sense shouting at him. He had no idea what it was that Kurloz gave him. He only called them his ‘miracles’ and Cronus knew he wouldn’t find online about any drug called that. He tried that twice today. For all he knew he could take one of these and drop dead or get arrested or some other fucked up shit. But it was a full pill bottle, albeit a small one. He picked it up, studying it for what seemed to be the tenth time today. The pills were flat, purple tablets about the size and shape of a dime. Was he supposed to swallow them or chew them? Take them on an empty stomach or while he was eating? Only one a day. No charge, no side effects, guaranteed to change his life. Cronus wasn’t so sure.

He glanced out the window of his apartment, staring at the stormy sky. Was this a good idea? What if he dropped dead? He knew that not many people liked him. He would admit that he was surprised that some of his friends still stuck around him, or at least checked up on him every once in a while. Would they miss him if he died? Would they even care? Would they even know?

It was late afternoon when he stopped caring and tried one of Kurloz’s miracles. He swallowed the pill with water and, setting the cup down, waited. He moved away from the sink to the table and sat down and waited. He stood up, moved to the living room and picked up a guitar and waited. He plucked a few notes, frowning, and waited. Nothing was happening. He played an entire song and still nothing happened. Sure, he didn’t know what to expect; Kurloz never mentioned that, but Cronus did expect something to happen. Truly, the only difference from when he took the tablet was that he now had a growing headache. Cronus sighed, pressing a hand to his head.

“Fuck. Could go for some painkillers, but shit, what if something gets fucked up and, ugh,” Cronus set the guitar down, his headache bordering on a migraine. Cursing, Cronus stumbled over to his room and dropped on the bed. He covered his head with his pillow; the headache hurt so bad and

You drop from your horse and step into the center of the village. Blood stains your shining armor and as you tie your horse up, a crowd gathers around you. You glance up, shading your eyes against the bright sun. A little girl pushes through the crowd and runs up to you.

“Thank you for saving us mister! You’re the greatest!” Suddenly, the crowd erupts into applause and thanks and you smile warmly, accepting the praise by bowing slightly. When you straighten, a figure walks up to you, their long cloak flowing in the breeze. The figure pulls back their hood and the king smiles down at you. In sudden recognition, you drop to one knee, bowing before the royal.

“Thank you, brave knight, for saving us from the vicious beast,” You briefly flash back to a battle where you had no hope of surviving, but once you brought down your sword,

“We are grateful, but righteous knight, we have need of you again,” You flash back to the king’s voice as the two of you walk through the grand hall of the palace. The king leads you to the front and sits at one of the empty thrones. “My child has been captured by a fearsome dragon. Please, help me get my child back.” You nod, bowing and leaving the palace on your horse.

You stand at the gates of the ruined castle and unsheathe your sword. You walk through the ruins, keeping a watchful eye out for the dragon. The glint of white scales and burning red eyes catch your attention and you roll out of the way as the dragon breathes its fire at you. You run back, shouting your war cry as you slash at the dragon’s leg. The dragon roars and snaps its jaws at you. You twist and turn and raise your blade. As you bring it down, it slices right through the dragon’s neck, beheading it quickly. As you calm yourself down from the battle, a bright light fills the room. You turn to see a figure stepping toward you, its head bowed and

Cronus’ eyes snapped open. Confused and disoriented a moment, he reached for the sword at his side, but—

“Oh,” he whispered to the darkness of his bedroom. His hand dropped back to the bed and he felt the emptiness of waking up from a vivid dream. “It was only a dream.” Cronus laid back down, staring at the ceiling. That was the first dream he had in a while. He smiled, thinking about the little girl who ran up to him. He closed his eyes, thinking about how the crowd treated him like a hero, as if there were actually people who looked up to him. His smile grew and he wished he could continue the dream. He fell back to sleep, that smile still on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Cronus slammed his hand on his alarm’s snooze button. He sat up, stretching, happy and pleased sounds slipping from his mouth. He yawned and sat back against the headboard. He felt… content. It was new, the feeling almost forgotten after many nights spent drinking and sleeping with whoever would take him and Cronus smiled. He jumped from his bed, happy and refreshed, and glanced out the window as he opened his dresser. Cronus almost laughed, shaking his head at the bright, clear, and wonderfully sunny sky. It seemed as if even the world outside had as good of a dream as he had.

In the shower, Cronus couldn’t stop thinking about his dream. It was so weird. He knew it had been a very vivid dream, but he could remember almost every part of it. He remembered the breeze and he remembered the heat of the dragon’s fire and he remembered how he had to squint against the light as the person came closer to him and — Cronus blinked. That was right. He never saw the face of the person he found in the castle. He assumed it had to be the royal child. Would it have been a princess? It didn’t look like the figure had any discernible feminine features. He frowned, disappointed now. Would he ever get to know who the figure was? It didn’t seem fair that he should wake up at that exact moment, but he shrugged it aside. After all, wasn’t that how dreams worked? Get to the most exciting part and then you wake up?

Cronus sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he rinsed. Oh well. It had been a good dream. Cronus’ smile returned. After dressing, he grabbed his wallet and his keys and bounced down the stairs from his apartment to the street below. He needed to get groceries at some point soon, but there was a nice little café a few blocks over where he could grab some coffee and some breakfast. As he walked to the bakery, Cronus smiled. He smiled and waved hello to the people who passed by him. He was so happy; he could hardly believe it and he definitely could not contain it.

He ducked into the café, the chimes by the door ringing as he stepped into the smell of fresh coffee and fresh pastries. He waved hello to the girl behind the counter, flashing her a smile. The girl leaned forward, as if trying to get a good look at him.

“Cronus Ampora, is that you?”

“Morning Jane. Do you have anything good today?” Jane shook her head in disbelief as Cronus bent down to look at the pastry display.

“Who did you sleep with last night to make you a giant smiling mess?”

“Oh that looks good… Huh? Oh, no one. I just had a really great dream last night. What’s in these scones?”

“Raspberries and white chocolate. A dream made you this happy? Gee Cronus, you could have fooled me.”

“Eh, it was a pretty great dream. I was a knight and I fought off this dragon and ended up saving a… Probably a princess. I woke up before I saw them. Could I get two of these and some coffee with some Irish Cream in it?”

“Should’ve figured,” Jane laughed, typing in his order. “Did everyone like Mr. Brave Knight? That’ll be $7.75, please.”

“Well yeah. Who wouldn’t like me?” Cronus handed her a ten-dollar bill, spreading his hands as he did so and flashed another smile. Jane looked at him over the top of her glasses before sighing and rolling her eyes and handed him his change.

“I’ll bring it out to you,” Jane replied as she took two of the scones and shoved them into the microwave. Cronus nodded and sat down at one of the two-chaired tables and gazed out the window. The sun was still shining and his smile grew. The clattering sound of ceramic meeting wood brought his attention back to Jane who set a plate of the scones and Cronus’ coffee down.

“Why aren’t you at work?”

“Got fired.” Cronus’ eyes dropped down to his plate, his smile faltering. He wrapped his hands around the steaming mug, silent. He heard Jane sigh and she sat down in the chair across from him. Cronus looked up.

“I’m sorry about that Cronus. If you want to, I can put in a good word with the owner and you could work here. You’d have to pull your own weight, but I’d rather not see you living on the streets.” Cronus dropped his gaze to the coffee again, not saying a word. Jane sighed and patted him on the shoulder. “Just let me know, okay? I need to get back to work. Enjoy your coffee.” Jane left Cronus to his thoughts. Eventually, Cronus pushed back his chair and stood, setting his plate and mug in the dirty dish bowl and waved goodbye as he walked out the door. Cronus stood outside the café, not sure what to do. Eventually, he decided on a walk around the city so he could enjoy the sun.

Not five minutes later and someone fell into step beside him. Cronus glanced up, jumping a little when he saw Kurloz who slid his gaze sideways and smiled lazily.

“Hey motherfucker. Nice day, huh?”

“Uh, yeah,” Cronus gulped, a bit unsettled by the sudden appearance of the man. He instinctively hunched down and stepped a little further from him. He and Kurloz continued walking in silence until Kurloz tilted his head down.

“Did you sleep well? Have any miraculous dreams last night?” Cronus nodded, looking away from the man.

“I wouldn’t call it miraculous, but—“

“But you dreamt and you look as though you haven’t dreamed in a while.” Kurloz interrupted, speaking as if taking the words directly out of Cronus’ mind. Cronus nodded again, discreetly moving further from Kurloz.

“Bet you’re hoping for a dream like that again, huh? Miraculous little motherfuckers dreams are. No charge. No side effects. Motherfucking miracles, brother.”

“Wait,” Cronus stopped; Kurloz kept walking until he realized the other wasn’t beside him. The tall man spun back, tilting his head questioningly. “Are you saying that your ‘miracles’ gave me my dream? What kind of shit are you on? I took one of your miracles and all it did was give me a migraine! I fell asleep and had a regular, normal, every day dream. Whatever the hell you gave me did absolutely nothing!” Kurloz tilted his head the other way, his smile gone as he pulled himself closer. He straightened to his full height and then bent down to Cronus’ face. Cronus suppressed the urge to step back; they were almost chest to chest.

“Wanna bet, motherfucker?” The smile Kurloz flashed him stopped his heart and when he would look back on the memory, he would swear he saw a mouth full of pointed teeth. But then Kurloz leaned back, a lazy smile now stretching those stitches-like tattoos. He wrapped one long arm around Cronus’ shoulders and guided him down the sidewalk.

“I’m sorry about the headache brother, but my miracles won’t hurt you none. Take one a day and I will promise you the most wonderful of miracles. Little miracles at first. Don’t want your pan to get all up and overwhelmed, now. Brother, do you hear me? One miracle a day. No charge, no side effects, guaranteed to change your life. Go on now, take your miracle.” Kurloz stopped, tapping Cronus’ shoulder to bring his attention back. Cronus stared up at the door to his apartment building, his mouth opening incredulously. When he felt Kurloz’s arms leave his shoulders, he turned around, his mouth opening to form words, and he was left with an empty street.


	5. Chapter 5

Cronus opened his refrigerator, shoving in some yogurt and fruit from the stack of groceries he bought earlier that afternoon. Once the rest of the cold items were in the fridge, he shoved some bread and chips into a cupboard. He didn’t buy a lot of groceries, but just enough to get him through the week, he hoped. Every once in a while, his gaze slipped over to the unlabeled pill bottle that contained Kurloz’s ‘miracles’. Cronus averted his gaze, pointedly ignoring it. Instead, he thought about Kurloz.

There was something strange about Kurloz. Sure, the fact that the man seemed completely covered in tattoos unnerved Cronus, but the strangeness was from more than that. Kurloz just seemed to pop up in his life, literally. He wasn’t there one moment and then BAM! There he was, smiling lazily and walking beside you. And then once he was done talking, he would disappear. Cronus shook his head. It also unnerved him that Kurloz was so much taller than he was. Cronus was proud to say that he was six feet tall, but Kurloz was at least five inches taller than Cronus was, making him tower over almost everyone. So how was it that he was able to disappear so quickly if he was a almost a foot taller than everyone else?

Cronus sighed, rubbing his head. He felt tired and, glancing at the clock on the stove, it was 4:13 pm. Perfect time for a nap. He passed by the pill bottle on his way out the kitchen and paused, thinking about what Kurloz had said. Or rather, what he implied. Cronus suddenly wondered if it would even be possible for some pills to actually mess around with his dreams. He didn’t know much about dreaming, though. Cronus picked up the bottle, narrowing his eyes at the purple tablets before popping one into his mouth. He swallowed it dry and left for his bedroom. As he lied down, he wondered if he would

The dragon roars and snaps its jaws at you. You twist and turn and raise your blade. As you bring it down, it slices right through the dragon’s neck, beheading it quickly. As you calm yourself down from the battle, a bright light fills the room. You turn to see a figure stepping toward you, its head bowed and you cover your eyes. As the figure approaches, the light fades until you can see properly. The person stands before you covered in a gray cloak with red stitching. The person lifts their head and you stand awestruck by their beauty. The person’s skin looks soft and pale, a field of small freckles beneath their eyes and over the top of their nose. Their auburn hair tickles frames their round face as they look up at you with bright, inquisitive, brown eyes.

You find yourself blushing faintly and you drop to one knee and bow your head. The person lets out a surprised noise and steps forward. When they speak, their voice is too low an octave to be female and you lift your head when they touch your shoulder. You look closer at the face inches from you. The person speaks again.

“Are you the one who’s come to save me?” You blink in surprise and lift a hand to the person’s chest. The person is male. You saved a guy. And you’re okay with that.

“Yes, I am Cronus.” You flash a charming smile and the guy pulls back, his cheeks reddening. “And what might the name be of the handsome prince I have come to save?” The prince covers his face, hiding his blush. You think that this is adorable, but you gently pull his arms from his face. “Please prince, what is your name?”

“Kankri, sir.” Kankri, you think. Such a beautiful name. You roll it through your mouth a bit, loving how it feels on your tongue.

“Well, Prince Kankri,” You stand and lift him to his feet. “How about I take you back home?” You lift him into your horse’s saddle and jump on after him. He sits behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, pushing closer to you as you ride off.

You reach the palace ground and trumpets blare and announce your coming. Kankri is still wrapped around you and he begins to tremble as if he is afraid. You turn your head to comfort him when you hear the king’s voice. You turn back to the king, bowing your head in respect.

“Thank you, brave knight, for rescuing my son. We must have a great feast in your honor!”

“I am grateful for that sir, but you do not need to go such a great length for me.” The king waves off your remark and begins preparations. From behind you, Kankri squeezes and quietly asks to be taken to the castle gardens. You lead your horse there and once in the courtyard, you dismount. Kankri tries following you, but catches on the saddle and ends up falling into you, pushing both of you to the ground. You lift your eyes up to the other’s face as it burns in embarrassment and you laugh. Kankri blushes harder, but you keep laughing and eventually the prince cracks a smile and laughs with you.

When Cronus woke up the next morning, he didn’t move, a small, happy smile forming.


	6. Chapter 6

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold up chief. Can you repeat that?” Kankri frowns, exasperated, but he repeats his discussion on the different uses of the plants growing in the garden around them. You listen with just barely wavering attention and glance at the different plants he points out as he talks, your fingers tapping against the stone bench you two share. You really have no idea where he learned everything he knows, but you assume it comes from his princely studies. He asks you if you understand and you nod. He stares at you, not quite believing you. You smile sheepishly. He pauses before continuing on and you can see a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“What’s next, Kan?” You ask and he glances sharply when you address him informally, but then he looks away, the blush reddening.

“I looked ahead in my botanical studies and I found that there are certain plants, a few of which can be found here in the garden, that act as, uhm, I apologize if what I say next triggers you in any way and if I do in fact trigger you, then please tell me so that I may avoid it in fut—“

“Kankri, just tell me already.”

“You interrupted me, Cronus.”

“Yes I did, and I get that it triggers some people, but come on Kankri. Just tell me what you learned.”

“Oh, uhm, yes, what I learned,” Kankri glances away again, fumbling around with his hands. You lean forward and take his hands into yours. When he still doesn’t look at you, you lift one of your hands and pull his chin up so that he looks at you. He pulls his hand away from you and lifts it up to cover his mouth as he clears his throat.

“There are some plants that culturally and traditionally have been used as,” He bites his lip, hesitant to say the next word. When he finally forces it out, he speaks quickly and quietly and you completely miss the word.

“Kankri, I missed that. Can you repeat it?”

“They are used as… aphrodisiacs,” He blushes hard as he finally says the word loud enough that you can hear and both of you fall silent. He bites his lip and when you chuckle, he hunches down like he’s afraid you’re laughing at him.

“Aphrodisiacs, huh? Hmm, maybe I should be taking notes.” His head whips up sharply and you can’t help but laugh at the expression on his face. He looks almost mad and extremely embarrassed and that only makes you laugh more.

“Cronus! Do you know how triggering laughing could be in this situation?”

“I’m sorry chief, I couldn’t help myself! You’re just so cute when you get mad.” Kankri frowns and turns away from you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Hey, Kan. Kan. Ugh, Kankri, look, I’m sorry for laughing. I promise I’m sorry. You’re just so cute when you blush and how you try to hide. Oops, sorry. But Kankri? I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because I’m with you. And, well, Kankri… Kankri, look at me.” You move closer to Kankri, even going so far to get off the bench and kneel on the ground. He glances at you when you take his hands again, looking up at his face.

“You make me happy, Kankri. And I wish I could spend every moment I have with you.” He blinks, one of his hands slipping from yours to cover his mouth in sincere surprise.

“Oh Cronus, I—“

Cronus’ eyes snapped open. As they adjusted to the bright room, he covered his ears with the sheets on his bed, the alarm blaring on the nightstand next to the bed.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He groaned and smacked the alarm off and proceeded to curl up underneath his sheets. Cronus had been meeting with Kankri in his sleep for an entire week and each night was different. They usually sat in the garden and talked – well, Kankri talked and Cronus listened, but he enjoyed it. The prince knew so many things and god knows that Cronus knew nothing about the things Kankri talked about. After the first three nights of meeting with Kankri, Cronus began to believe that whatever Kurloz gave him actually did mess with his dreams. He didn’t know how or why and he truly didn’t care to know. His dreams were perfect now, though he wished he had longer to spend with Kankri, even if it was only in a dream.

Cronus went through his morning routine and as he made coffee, he stared out the window. It was another sunny day with only a few clouds drifting in. Looked as if it was a little windy too. Cronus sipped at his coffee.

A half hour later and Cronus locked his door and slowly walked down to the sidewalk below his apartment and strolled along into the city. A gust of wind blew into him and he pulled his leather jacket closer to his body. It was getting colder; autumn would be starting soon. It had been more than a week since he was fired and he needed to find a job. He’d been looking, of course he had been, and he found a little store that needed some help. He decided to check it out today and see if he could put in an application. Another gust of wind and he shivered. How much further was it to the shop again? He passed the café Jane worked at and glanced in to wave at Jane. She waved back and he continued on. His mind drifted over the last week and he formed his mouth into a small smile as he thought immediately of Kankri.

At first, Cronus thought Kankri was shy, but as soon as he brought the prince back, the prince started talking. And really, he never did shut up. But Cronus enjoyed listening. Kankri talked about subjects ranging from social issues to the properties of different plants back to politics and straight into the different cultures of the kingdom. Kankri mentioned wanting to learn to dance, but he said that the king’s advisor suggested to wait on that particular subject. Maybe he’d teach him, Cronus though happily. Soon Cronus stopped at the entrance of the shop. A large HELP WANTED sign hung in the window, just under where the name of the shop was painted. Cronus entered  _Lalonde’s Little Shoppe of Magick_ and sauntered up to the counter. A light-colored hair girl lifted her head as he moved closer.

“How may I help you?” She asked, her gaze dropping back to her grim little book.

“I saw the ‘help wanted’ sign in the window and I was wondering if I could get an application.” As he spoke, he felt something brush between his legs. Glancing down, he saw a black cat with a little bowtie wrapped around his neck. He raised an eyebrow, but the girl was moving now. She reached under the counter and brought up a sheet of paper.

“Fill this out,” she clicked a pen and set it on the paper, “Put down your name and some way we can reach you. We’ll review your application and we will get a hold of you and let you know if we would like you to come in for an interview.” Cronus nodded and filled the application right before her. The whole process took about ten minutes total, Cronus paused to scratch the cat on the head at one point, and after handing the application back to the girl, he left the shop, a smile on his face.

Cronus wandered around the city, having almost nothing better to do. As he walked, small, fluffy clouds rolled in and covered the sky in little indescribable patterns. He smiled and lowered his gaze from the sky. A small gust of wind blew into him and he stumbled a moment before righting himself and apologizing to the person he bumped into. The person muttered something watching where you were going, but Cronus was gone before he heard everything they said. He shrugged and continued on his way.

About an hour later, he stopped in front of a menswear store’s display window, gazing at the suits and jackets inside when a reflection in the window caught his attention. He glanced at it, blinked, and turned around to see someone standing a little to his left across the sidewalk. The person, a young man, stared at a phone in one hand while his other hand grasped the handle of a suitcase. Cronus squinted at the young man, a strange feeling of… well, he really didn’t know, but…

The young looked up, turning his head to the right, giving Cronus view of most of his face and Cronus felt something clench tight in his chest.

“No fucking way,” Cronus muttered, taking a small step forward. Was, was he really seeing this? Was he dreaming? No, no he wasn’t dreaming. He couldn’t be dreaming. And yet right in front of him stood…

No, no that couldn’t be right. Cronus stopped, shaking his head. No, it couldn’t be, it couldn’t be him. Could it? Cronus glanced up, looking for the young man again, the tight feeling in his chest spreading warmth through his limbs as he saw the young man’s face again as he checked his suitcase. A bus pulled up and the young man smiled – it’s the same fucking smile, Cronus thought frantically. No doubt. It’s the same fucking smile. As the young man climbed the steps of the bus, Cronus bolted from his spot, a name on his lips, a name he had only ever heard while he slept and right before the bus doors closed, he called out.

“Kankri!”

The young man turned, brown eyes bright in surprise as he brushed aside a chunk of auburn hair and the bus doors closed and the bus sped down the street, leaving Cronus muttering.

“No fucking way.”


	7. Chapter 7

No way, no, no, no way. No fucking way.

That could not have been Kankri. No, there’s absolutely no way that was Kankri. No, no, he would not let himself believe that. After all, Kankri was someone that he had met in his dreams. You don’t meet people you’ve met in dreams in the real world. No, it’s just not possible. He had heard about seeing people you knew in real life in your dreams, but never vice versa. No, it was not possible. It couldn’t be him.

But the young man looked like Kankri. No, the young man looked  _exactly_  like him! The same auburn hair, the same brown eyes, the same face, even the same fucking smile! Cronus had never seen anyone who looked like Kankri before so it wouldn’t be possible to dream about him, right? Or maybe he had seen him, but only in passing. But wouldn’t the dream version be vague? Dreams were always vague. His dreams had always been vague, until just recently. But that still doesn’t explain why he would dream about someone he had never seen before! It just made no sense.

Cronus groaned as he covered his face with his hands. Well, maybe it wasn’t Kankri. That, that was possible, right? But he had called out and the young man had turned. So that meant that that was his name, right? Oh fuck, nothing made sense. Cronus unlocked his apartment door, a hand pressed to his head. He needed to think through this. He needed to…

Cronus jumped when his phone started ringing. Fumbling, he pulled it from his pocket and stared at the unknown number before answering.

“Hello?”

“Is this Cronus Ampora?”

“Yep. Who is this?”

“This is Rose Lalonde from Lalonde’s Little Shoppe of Magick. We’ve reviewed your application and we would like to interview you. Will you be available for an interview tomorrow? How about at 9 am?”

“Yes, yes, that should work great! Yes, I’ll be there!”

“Alright. Have a good day.”

As Ms Lalonde hung up, Cronus jumped up, pumping his fist excitedly. Yes! He had an interview! He smiled brightly and glanced at the time on the stove. It was only about 9 pm, but Cronus wanted to be ready for the interview. He quickly logged onto his computer and printed out his resume. He set it down on the table, along with his keys, and quickly got ready for bed. He wanted to be well rested and he wanted to be able to make it to the interview on time. As Cronus curled up in his bed with an excited smile, a small, unlabeled pill bottle sat untouched.

♑ ♒ ♑

No.

That is all you think as you stare out at the village from the top of a hill. You rest a hand on your horse as pure and utter horror forms in the pit of your gut. The village you first saw in your dreams no longer stands strong and joyous at the return of its knight. The village has not only been burned to the ground, but it has been gored. The ground itself bears deep gashes and you can see bodies littered everywhere. Some are simply charred, but others are mangled and mutilated and cut in half so that their organs spill from their opened bodies.

You want to be sick, but somehow, you remain frozen where you stand, unable to move. You do not know what happened. You do not know why this happened. You do not understand anything.

“Pity,” a low voice speaks from behind you. You do not turn as the stranger stands behind you. You feel as though you know that voice, but you cannot place it. You think you have it and then it slips away from you as if it was never existed in the first place.

“Pity,” the voice speaks again. “How great the mistakes of one man can affect the entirety of this world. Pity. It would have taken a miracle to have avoided this. Pity, indeed.” The stranger passes you, cloaked from head to foot, but you see a glimpse of a hand tattooed with white bones over dark skin. And then the stranger is gone and you

Cronus sat up slowly, blinking. He sat on his bed before the images of the dream flashed through his mind. The vivid images of gore and the lingering smell of charred flesh made Cronus gag and roll off his bed, a hand to his mouth. He rushed to the bathroom, bent over the toilet and retched. Shaking, he lifted his gaze, a hand wiping at his mouth. He couldn’t shake the horrible images and he shuddered in disgust. What the hell? He had been expecting to meet Kankri again tonight. But instead, he dreamed that a village had been burned to the ground and all the people in it slain. Cronus coughed, bending over the toilet again.

“Shiiiit,” Cronus groaned. What happened? How did he go from such good, happy dreams with the prince to a gruesome nightmare?

_“…would have taken a miracle to have avoided this…”_

Cronus blinked, the voice of the stranger echoing in his ears. A miracle. His gaze flicked up to the sink where an unlabeled pill bottle sat. Cronus inhaled slowly, licking his lips nervously. A miracle. He needed a miracle. He stood from his spot on the floor and grabbed the bottle, lifting it to his face. No charge, no side effects, huh?

Cronus swallowed one of the purple tablets and went back to bed after washing out his mouth. As he fell asleep, a mantra repeated inside his head: no charge, no side effects, guaranteed to change your life.

Cronus did not dream for the rest of that night.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Cronus woke up well rested, but disoriented. He remembered waking up from his dream, no sorry, nightmare and he remembered taking a tablet while in the bathroom. He went through his morning routine without thinking much about it, his mind drifting. When he closed his eyes, he saw only the darkness behind his eyes and when he thought about his nightmare, no images would come. He felt disturbed by this, but he also did not think much of it. He showered, he dressed, he ate a bit of food and drank some coffee, and it was only once he was out of his apartment and on the way to his interview did his mind come back to him.

“Good morning, brother.” Kurloz’s voice jolted his mind back and Cronus stumbled, nearly falling when Kurloz caught him. “Oh hey, didn’t mean to surprise you. Your mind drifting?” Kurloz helped Cronus right himself and waited until the other was ready to walk again. Cronus nodded, his tongue darting over his dry lips as he kept his gaze lowered. As they walked, Kurloz draped one arm over Cronus’ shoulder. Cronus glanced at the dark-skinned hand, his gaze darting over the skeletal white tattoos and something flickered in his mind, but when Kurloz started speaking, it flicked away.

“You look a little distant, brother. Something happen last night?” Cronus licked his lips, making to answer the man, but the man’s hand tapped on Cronus’ shoulder and his thoughts slipped from him. Something about this seemed off, almost dangerous, but Cronus couldn’t place it. Cronus felt like his mind was slipping away from him and every single time it was Kurloz who brought him back.

“Hey, brother, are you alright? Are my miracles treating you right?”

“Uh, ye-yeah,” Cronus licked his lips. “They’re… helping. They’re helping.”

“Glad to hear that, brother. I’ll see you later. Got to check up on my little friend. Sweet dreams, brother.” Kurloz flashed Cronus a one-sided grin, slipping his arm from Cronus’ shoulder. Cronus stopped, watching the tall man walk away. He was still in sight when Cronus turned his head to see that he stood in front of Lalonde’s Little Shoppe of Magick. As he walked in, he failed to notice the tall man who stopped to turn back, the mirthful smile gone from his tattooed face, replaced by a considering gaze. The man then turned away, hands in his pockets, a frown forming on his face.

Cronus stepped into the shop, the chimes ringing against the door. The girl, Rose probably, sat behind the counter, her grim little book in her lap while she pet the cat with the bowtie. Another woman, hair as blonde as the girl’s, stood in front of a shelf as she rearranged the little wizard statues on the shelf. Rose looked up from her book and seeing Cronus, she beckoned him to the counter.

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Ampora.”

“You can call me Cronus, miss.” He flashed a smile and, surprisingly, she smiled back. Her sly little smirk though made him lick his lips nervously.

“Then you may call me Rose. My sister, Roxy, is over there by the wizards.” Cronus noticed a small shudder run through Rose at mention of the wizards. He raised his eyebrow, but said nothing. Rose beckoned him into the back room and motioned for him to take a seat. Soon, she started the interview and he handed her his resume. She read through it and handed it to Roxy as she passed through the back room. Roxy glanced over it, giggled, then handed it back to Rose and went back out to the counter to help a customer.

The interview seemed to go well. Rose was an odd girl, but she seemed very capable of handling the interview, more so than her – older? – sister, who seemed to giggle every time she walked by him. At one point, he was pretty sure she held a martini glass in her hands as she interrupted the interview to question her sister. Rose asked him about his past work experiences and he drooped down a bit as he mentioned his last job.

“Why are you not working there now?”

“Uh, my boss really hated me because I lost a few files and when I tried to get the files back to him or apologize, he always ended up threatening to throw me out on the street. And then…”

“It happened?” Rose guessed and Cronus nodded, hanging his head.

“I probably just screwed up my chances, didn’t I?” Rose was quiet for a few minutes before smirking.

“In typical circumstances, yes, you would have just ‘screwed yourself over’, but,”

“But?”

“But, we do need some extra hands and, though you seem to have some problems with office work, we could use someone like you for jobs that my sister and I have some difficulty performing.”

“Basically,” Roxy popped her head in, giggling. “She means that we could use a big, strong man like yourself to help us lift boxes and reach up to the top shelves! Plus, you’ve got a really cute face and could bring in some more people that little miss darkness couldn’t.” Rose sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

“Yes, that too. Well, Cronus. It seems as though you would be a valuable addition to our dark little store. Welcome.” Cronus lifted his head up, mouth open in disbelief. “Before you say anything, though, I will need you to read through this worker’s manual. And I mean read it all.” Rose dropped a fairly thick book on the table between them, causing Cronus to shut his mouth. “It will explain to you about all the items we sell in this store, including the ones on display and those that are ‘ask for only’. It describes which items should be left on open shelves and those that should be left behind locked display cases and the reasons behind those decisions. In other words, this book includes all the rules all employees must follow in order to ensure safety of employees and customers alike.” Cronus raised an eyebrow, a little worried, but Rose waited for him to take the book before standing.

“Thank you for coming for the interview, Cronus. Seeing as today is Friday and our shop closes for the weekends, you are to come in for training on Monday and we will make sure that you understand your duties and how the shop works and then we will discuss your hours. Does that work for you?”

“Yes, yes it does. Oh my god, thank you.” Cronus stood to his feet, shaking Rose’s hand and picking up the book. He left the back room, almost bumping into Roxy, and headed for door when a book caught his eye. He stopped, picking up the book. The book’s cover was made out of what looked to be purple leather bound with black stitches. He set down the manual and flipped through the book. Reading a few lines, he realized it was a book about the different kinds of demons and how to deal with them. He blinked and gently set the book down, suddenly wondering what he had gotten into by applying for a job here. But he left the store feeling better than he did before.

A sudden thought about the young man he saw yesterday made Cronus decide to try and learn more about dreams. He turned down the street, heading for where he was vaguely sure the city’s public library stood. Unfortunately, Cronus did get lost at one point, but soon found his way around and entered the giant building. As soon as Cronus entered, he stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide.

“Shit, forgot how big this place was.” He glanced around, confused, before stepping up to someone who looked to be a worker. He asked about where he could find some books about dreams and how they worked. The library worker frowned and directed him to one of the help desks. The lady at the help desk bit her lip as she scrolled through her computer. After calling over someone else for help, she directed Cronus to the third floor of the library where the psychology books were located. Cronus thanked them and climbed the stairs to the third floor.

When he reached the third floor, Cronus wandered around the tall shelves, glancing at the spines, trying to find anything that might help. As he searched, his thoughts focused on the prince in his dreams. He didn’t dream about him last night, Cronus remembered that, though what he had dreamt about was still a little fuzzy in his mind. He felt a pang of longing in his chest and his face dropped for a moment. He missed talking to the prince, even if it was only in a dream.

Which led to thoughts of the young man. Cronus frowned in concentration as he pulled free a book to flip through it. The young man looked so much like Kankri and it frustrated Cronus to no end. Though he was still confused as to how he could dream about someone he’d never met – no, that book wouldn’t help, maybe that one? – and then see that same person in real life, part of him really wanted to believe it was the prince from his dreams. He smiled a bit, the pang of longing growing stronger. Kankri had been the first person, albeit in a dream, who had shown any interest in him and not in what his body could do. It made Cronus feel wanted, actually, truly wanted, and that made his heart jump. He pulled free another book and proceeded to flip through it. He smiled wider, finding certain passages explaining how dreams worked. He flipped to the back of the book to find references and found a list of other authors and other books that discussed dreams. Excited, Cronus spun on his heel and started forward to find some paper and something to write down all the references when he bumped into someone so hard both of them fell to the ground.

“Oof! Ugh, excuse  _me,_  but you should really be looking where you’re going before moving. There might be a person trying to enter the aisle!” Cronus groaned, rubbing his rear from where he landed, but when the person he had bumped into spoke, Cronus froze, eyes wide. He lifted his gaze to the young man he saw yesterday as he ran his fingers through his auburn hair, sighing in exasperation.

“Great, now my books are scattered everywhere. If you would be so helpful, unless this whole ordeal is triggering you, could you possibly help me pick up my books?” The young man raised an eyebrow at Cronus, who was staring at him utterly dumbstruck with his mouth gaping open. “Ugh, could you please stop staring at me like that? It could potentially be highly triggering and it is making me very uncomfortable.” As Cronus snapped his mouth shut, the young man began picking through the fallen books, taking what was his.

Quick as a flash, Cronus snapped forward and picked out his own books and, after setting them aside, helped the young man gather his together. Cronus blinked in wonder at how many books the other had gathered. Compared to his two, the other had close to ten books all about completely different things.

“I-I’m sorry, Ka—uh, dude, man, shit, sorry.” The young man pulled back, a questioning expression on his face. Cronus’ tongue darted over his lips nervously. “I’m sorry, you look a lot like a, uh, person I, um, someone I know. Do you need help up?” Cronus kneeled on one knee, one hand outstretched to the young man. The other stared at it warily, before taking it and the two pulled each other up. As the young man brushed off his red sweater, Cronus bent down and picked up most of the other’s books.

“Thank you for that and, oh, I am grateful for you trying to help, but I am perfectly capable of carrying my own books.”

“Well, yeah, I’m sure you can, but I thought that maybe I would help you out a bit, for you know, bumping into you. At least let me carry half?” The young man sighed, bending down to pick up Cronus’ books.

“Fine, you may help me. I am just heading over to that table behind you to do some research and, oh, I don’t think I’ve seen this book before.” The young man was looking over Cronus’ workers’ manual. Cronus was quick to point out that it wasn’t the library’s book and the young man smiled. “Ah, that would explain why I have never seen it before. Now this other one,” he talked while he walked to the table, Cronus following him. “Are you interested in dreams? I went through a time where I—“ The young man suddenly tensed a moment, but he breathed in deeply and started walking again, though Cronus noticed his voice was quieter. “Where I researched dreams intensively. I was very thorough in my research, so if you need any references or other resources, I would be glad to help you. That is, if you need the help at all. I do not know how much you know about dreams and as happy as I would be to share my knowledge with you, if you already know much about the subject, my commentary may be utterly pointless. However, dreams are an interesting topic and there are many varying views on how dreams work and—“

“I’m sorry for interrupting, but I wanted to say that I would be very interested in learning about dreams.” Oh hell, the guy even rambled like the prince. Cronus felt his face flush as he spoke. “But, if we’re gonna be talking, then I’m gonna have to ask for some introductions.” He set the books down on the table, facing the young man. “The name’s Cronus Ampora.” The young man stared at Cronus, his mouth parting slightly.

“It is nice to meet you, Cronus. I am Kankri Vantas.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Cronus, are you alright?” Cronus snapped out of his trance, covering his face with one hand, flushing in embarrassment.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Kankri. I just,” Cronus swallowed, gesturing with his hand. Kankri waited for an answer, but when it seemed as though he wasn’t going to receive one, he sighed and motioned for them to sit. Cronus moved stiffly, still completely and utterly shocked that the young man’s name was indeed Kankri. A large part of his brain was refusing to believe that this Kankri was the same person he’d been dreaming about, but a small part actually accepted it. Though accepting this and trying to figure out exactly how was a different matter altogether. Kankri set aside his books and opened the book Cronus grabbed and started flipping through it. Eventually landing on a certain page, Kankri explained to Cronus how the brain worked. A few minutes into his lecture, Cronus interrupted and asked for him to explain it in less technical terms.

Kankri obliged and started again, gesturing and pointing out pictures or passages in the book that helped describe what he explained. After about an hour of this, Cronus found that he was starting to understand and could handle some of the more technical terms and not be completely lost. Eventually, Kankri moved on to the theory of dreams.

“There is so much we do not actually understand about dreams, so much past the actual physical aspects of dreaming, most of this research is based in theory. One theory is that dreams are physiological and allow us to either sort through the problems we face in the waking world or that our dreams are actually prophetic.” Kankri flipped a page and pointed to a picture of a man. “This is Sigmund Freud. He believed that dreams were based around fulfilling wishes, especially those wishes based around sexual desires. He believed that many of the objects in our dreams were different symbols that represented different things. Carl Jung, a man who studied under Freud, believed that dreams were meant to help us solve the problems in our day-to-day lives.

“However, two researchers in 1973 formed the activation-synthesis hypothesis which stated that dreams were formed from random electrical impulses that pulled images from our memories to form dreams. When we wake up, they believed, it is only then that our brain tries to make sense of what we saw and therefore creates the story we would tell to others.” Kankri continued on, explaining REM, or rapid-eye movement sleep, where most dreams were found to occur.

At one point in his lecture, Kankri glanced at his watch. He gasped and stood quickly, gathering his books.

“I am very sorry, but I just remembered that I must meet a friend and I cannot keep them waiting for very long and unfortunately, I will be late if I stay any longer. Please forgive me, but I must leave.”

“Hey, wait a sec,” Cronus caught Kankri by the sweater. “Could I get your number? So that maybe we could meet up again and talk some more? I’m getting really interested in this stuff and you seem to know a lot and I…” Kankri quickly scrawled out his number on some paper and shoved it into Cronus’ hand before running down the stairs. Cronus blinked, his mouth closing as he looked down at his hand. He… He got Kankri’s number. Cronus smiled.

♋ ♒ ♋

“Okay Cronus, you can do this. You asked him for his number and you can totally ask him out for some coffee and some—“

“Heeeeey Cronus! What’cha doing?” Cronus jumped, fumbling with his phone. Roxy laughed loudly and sidled up to him. “I saw you over here mumbling to yourself and I thought, huh, wonder what he’s up to since he’s  _oooobviously_  not stocking the shelves like he should be. So I thought I’d pop over here and ask ya. So?”

“I-uh, I was,” Cronus stumbled over his words, blushing furiously. Roxy grinned and slipped his phone from him. “Hey!” He grabbed it before she could flip through it, but she giggled, grinning slyly.

“So…. Who’s Kankri?”

“Uh… Just someone I met at the library.”

“Oooooooh!”

“Hey, stop that. I was trying to figure out some stuff and he started a big old speech about it and, well I wanted to hear more about it, so I…” Cronus trailed off, and turned his attention back to stocking the shelves.

“So you got his number and were just trying to ask him out for some coffee, huh? Welllllllll, maybe I can help with that!”

“Help? Help, ho—give me back my phone!”

“Nooooope!” Roxy danced away, giggling. “Now, let’s send a cute little text to this Kankri guy! Hmm, what should I put? What do you think, sir?” Roxy leaned over a customer, wiggling her eyebrows at him. He backed up, a little unnerved, and didn’t respond.

“Roxy, please, just give me my phone back.” Cronus sighed, exasperated.

“Nah.”

“Roxy, you’re frightening the customer. Please return Cronus’ phone back to him.” Rose glared at her sister from behind the counter.

“Finnnnnnne!” Roxy dropped Cronus’ phone in his hands and bent down to whisper in his ear. “Go get him tiger!” Cronus blushed hard and moved back to the shelves he was supposed to be restocking.

Cronus sent a quick text to Kankri, asking if he’d be free to talk about dreams again and if they could meet over at the café Jane worked at, Sweet Tooth. As Cronus waited for a reply, he finished stocking the shelves. Only a few minutes passed when his phone buzzed. He picked it up, smiling a little when he saw it was Kankri’s reply. Kankri was free for a little while.

“Cronus, when you’re done with that, feel free to head out. We are planning on closing soon.” He turned at Rose’s voice, but she was behind the counter knitting. He texted Kankri back, letting him know he’d be heading out soon.

As soon as he was done, Cronus headed out of the shop, smiling up at the sunny sky. He was excited to see Kankri again, although it was still odd to see him outside of his dreams. He had dreamt that night and was able to talk to Kankri again, but something didn’t seem right. Well, okay, ‘right’ was the wrong word, but something seemed a little off with his dream’s version of Kankri. Maybe he had tried to project the Kankri he met yesterday onto his dream’s version, but… That didn’t make much sense. A lot of his life hadn’t made much sense recently, though. Arriving at Sweet Tooth, he stepped inside, breathing in the delicious scent of the baked goods.

“Good afternoon, Jane. How are you?” Jane looked up from the espresso machine.

“I’m doing pretty well. Haven’t seen you in a bit. Oh, good afternoon, sir.” Cronus glanced behind him to see Kankri enter the café. He waved to the young man and beckoned him over. Jane glanced between the two of them, quirking an eyebrow.

“I’ll have the usual, Jane.” Cronus smiled and she nodded, ringing him up. Kankri took a little longer to decide, so Cronus took his drink and settled down at a table near one of the large windows. Eventually, Kankri sat across from him and they began talking. Cronus asked him about his day and Kankri shrugged, saying that it had been all right so far. Kankri then talked about dreams, starting exactly where he left off yesterday. Cronus listened carefully, nodding every so often so that Kankri knew that he was listening. When Kankri explained a more technical part about dreams, Cronus would interrupt him and ask questions or ask him to repeat something or to explain something else. Eventually, Kankri’s time ran out and he popped up to leave again, but this time, he suggested they meet again to talk. He apologized, saying that he had a debate to go to tomorrow and wouldn’t be able to come, but suggested the next day.

The next time they met up, Cronus asked about how the debate went. Kankri stared at him in surprise, but then smiled brightly and went on for nearly an hour describing every little detail and how his views went up against the other’s views and how eventually he won the debate and how great he felt. Half way through his story, he stopped and hunched down in his seat, apologizing for talking too long and that his story was boring and how Cronus probably didn’t want to listen to him anyway.

“Hold up, what?” Kankri hunched down further, the neck of his sweater pulled up to his nose. “You think that I don’t want to listen to you? I  _asked_  you how your debate went and I enjoy listening to you. Kan, I just watched your entire face light up and you were so animated and suddenly you just stop and your face dimmed and you hunched down and, fuck Kanny, I don’t know what made you think that whatever you have to say isn’t important and I don’t know what happened to make you think that the things that you enjoy aren’t worth talking about because some idiot might think it’s boring, but you gotta understand that I,” Cronus paused, licking his lips nervously, thinking about what he was going to say before he blurted it out. “I like seeing you happy, Kan. I like it when you smile and I like it when your face lights up when you talk. I like listening to you when you talk. I could listen to you for days talking about social issues to the properties of different plants or about politics and then have you go straight into different cultures and I’d never get bored of hearing your voice.”

Kankri stared at him, disbelief utterly silencing him. Cronus could feel his cheeks burning, but he continued.

“Kankri, what I’m trying to say is… I think you’re amazing. I think you’re wonderful. I’m utterly grateful that you give me the time of day. And I want you to know that. I want you to know that there is someone out there who will happily listen to you, even if he can’t get a word in.” He chuckled and noticed Kankri smiling softly. “So please, keep talking.”

And so Kankri talked. And he never really did shut up. But Cronus really didn’t mind. In fact, over the course of the next week, Cronus and Kankri met up for coffee every afternoon to talk. Kankri told stories about his life and Cronus replied with stories from his job and whatever new spell book came into stock that day. They talked about social issues and politics and Cronus taught him a few things, like how his family used to go fishing and hunting every year when he and his brother were kids. Kankri told him stories about his younger brother and his dad and how great they were, albeit nerve-wracking at times. They laughed and they talked and they got to know more about each other and the more often they met, the less and less the Kankri in Cronus’ dreams appealed to him.

And so one night, after coming back from talking about music with Kankri, Cronus went to sleep happy, completely and willingly ignored Kurloz’s miracles.

Kankri smiles at you, just finished talking for hours with you about – you don’t remember – when suddenly a messenger runs up and starts talking animatedly with the prince.

“I am very sorry Cronus, but I must leave. Something has need of my attention. I shouldn’t be gone too long if you wish to stay here.” You nod, smiling at the prince. He leaves with the messenger and you decide to walk around the garden. What seems to be a half-hour later and you hear a loud crack followed by a crunch and you turn your head toward the castle, but you ignore it for the most part. Until the messenger comes back to you, panting heavily and a heavy look on his face.

“I am very sorry, sir knight, to be the bearer of terrible news, but a piece of the castle has just fallen upon the prince and it has crushed him. The prince is dead.”

You stare in disbelief at the messenger, your brain not quite understanding.

“W-what?” The messenger glances around, worried. A guard notices and walks over. The guard’s face is hidden by his helmet, but you can hear his voice loud and clear.

“The prince is dead. He has been killed by a fallen piece of the castle. It is a pity. The prince is dead.” You back up, shaking your head. Kankri’s dead? No, no, no, it can’t be. He can’t have died! But you stand before where the fallen piece stands and you can see an arm sticking out. He is dead. The prince is dead.

“Pity,” mutters the guard.


	10. Chapter 10

When Cronus woke up that morning, a sense of dread sat like dead weight in the pit of his stomach. He glanced at his nightstand, seeing the unlabeled pill bottle sitting there innocently. He frowned and pushed out of bed, ignoring it. A beep from his phone alerted him to a text message. A quick glance at it told him it was from Kankri; he was asking if they could meet up at Sweet Tooth for some breakfast. He answered back, saying that he’d be there in a little while. A quick shower and pull on some jeans and a t-shirt and he was ready to go.

He arrived at Sweet Tooth not long after and after ordering his usual – they had those white chocolate and raspberry scones again – Cronus sat down at his and Kankri’s usual table, happy to see that Kankri was already sitting there.

“Good morning, Cronus. Did you sleep well?” Kankri smiled brightly; obviously he already had enough coffee this morning.

“Yeah, kind of. Had a bit of a… strange dream, though.”

“Strange? Strange how?”

“Well,” Cronus described his dream. When he was finished, he sipped at his coffee.

“You dreamt that I died?”

“Yeah, I don’t get it either.”

“That is strange. For one, you said it was a very clear dream? You remember most of what happened?”

“Everything. I remember everything.”

“Yes, that is strange. Do you happen to remember if you could control the dream?”

“Control? What do you mean by—“

The chimes by the door rattled and Cronus trailed off, lifting his head at the sound. A tall man stepped in and pulled down the hood of his black hoodie and Cronus started at the sight of Kurloz. The tall man scanned the establishment, a smirk clearly visible against his dark skin. Cronus was not the only one startled to see Kurloz.

“I am very sorry sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Cronus watched as Jane stepped out from behind the counter, walking quickly up to Kurloz, obviously angry.

 “Hey, li’l mama, I’m not here to cause any troubles. Just looking for—“

“I don’t care what you’re looking for, I want you out!” Though Kurloz stood slouched back, he still towered over Jane. She pointed at the door, shouting at him again, but he paid her no mind as his gaze slid over to Cronus.

“Ah! There you are! Been looking ‘round for you, brother.” Jane turned back to Cronus, her mouth open as she mouthed  _You know him?_  Cronus ducked his head down, barely noticing that Kankri had gone completely tense. Kurloz must have stepped closer because Jane started shouting at him again. However, when Jane fell silent, Cronus looked back up. Kurloz stood straight, looking down at Jane as if he was a snake considering a mouse. His smile had disappeared and his eyes widened. The air stilled and Cronus glanced quickly at Kankri. He sat with his head near the table, his hands covering his ears. He was shaking. Cronus snapped his gaze back to Kurloz and watched as the man smiled, his body suddenly back to its relaxed slouch. Jane, however, seemed to be frozen. He wished he could see her face; her back faced him.

Kurloz stepped around her, waving at Cronus, but he stopped short when he saw the bent form of Kankri shaking and muttering softly at the table. Kurloz narrowed his eyes at the sight of Kankri. Various emotions flashed across his face: gradual recognition, then surprise, and then anger followed quickly by jealousy. Finally, his expression settled into a forced smile, but Cronus say the glint of possessiveness in Kurloz’s eyes. Cronus pulled back, instincts flaring in fear.

“I see.” Kurloz whispered, his voice dripping with poison. He then spun on his heel, patted a still-frozen Jane on the shoulder, and walked out of the café.

Minutes passed, the café utterly silent, before a small whimper slipped from Kankri.

“Is-is he gone?” Cronus nodded dumbly, his gaze focused on Jane’s still form. A sudden shiver shuddered through her and she snapped out of her trance. She turned away from the door, her hands shaking as she lifted them to her head. She glanced over at Cronus and Kankri, her face a mixture of terror and anger.

“If you two have any connection to that snake,” she spat the words at them. “I want you out of my café and I don’t want to see your faces until I’m absolutely sure whatever ties you have to him are utterly ripped apart. So finish your coffees and get out.”

“Jane,” Cronus started.

“No! I don’t want that, that, that  _thing_  in my store ever again! Just shut up and get out, please.” Jane shouted at them, her voice breaking into a sob as she walked into the back room. Kankri whimpered again and when Cronus laid a hand on his shoulder, he flinched away before leaning into the touch.

“Hey, Kankri. Come on, let’s get you outside.” Cronus led a trembling Kankri out of Sweet Tooth, quickly glancing around to determine that Kurloz was indeed gone. He led Kankri to a bench where he all but fell onto and Cronus sat next to him.

“Kankri, are you okay? What happened in there? Do you know Kurloz?” As soon as he mentioned the tall man’s name, Kankri tensed. “Kankri, how do you know Kurloz?” Kankri fumbled with his hands, hiding his face behind his auburn hair. Instead of prying, Cronus waited. He knew that Kankri would speak eventually.

“Y-yes. I know him. He and I met a few years ago back when my family was going through a rough situation.” Kankri explained how his father had been a pastor and that they had been forced to move when the church first started losing money and then when the administrators turned corrupt in order to ‘save’ the church and when his father tried exposing the administrators, he explained how they turned on him and spread lies that eventually forced him to resign and for their family to completely uproot and move. His father wasn’t able to find a well-paying job in the failing economy, but Kankri and his little brother Karkat were still put through school. Kankri explained how he felt pressured to do well so that he could get all the scholarships he possibly could so he could go to a good university and be able to find a better job to help his family along.

He mumbled about how he worked so hard and how much of an emotional and mental toll it eventually took on him, both of which became extremely apparent when he finally entered college. His first semester was great, but when finals rolled around, Kankri hit a wall and lost all his motivation. He failed two of his finals and was in danger of losing many of his scholarships. This put him through greater stress, but he couldn’t find the motivation to do well. His second semester turned sour, though he was able to get through with a C-average by shear brute force, but his mind eventually gave out and he couldn’t handle the stress of everything. Kankri hid his face as he quietly told Cronus how he stood on the edge of a bridge bright and early one morning with every intent to jump, when Kurloz first appeared.

“It was like the sunlight pierced through the fog that surrounded me every waking moment. I was about to raise my arms and let myself fall forward when he reached out and caught me. I remember exactly what he told me too. He told me, ‘now brother, there’s easier ways to fly than pretending you’ve suddenly got wings.’ He left his hand on my arm, keeping me there, but he didn’t try to force me back onto the bridge and away from the edge. He just stood there, keeping me there, and he talked to me. He asked me what I was doing there and when I answered, he frowned a bit and then climbed over the edge to join me! Faced the wind, one hand gripping the frame of the fence and the other still on my arm and he stood there and closed his eyes. He then leaned over and whispered, ‘Standing at death’s gate’s a thrill and all, but it takes all the mirth outta life. Sure, dark clouds’ll come, but the sun’s still there. The sun ain’t burning out just yet and though the night comes, just look up at that dark expanse of sky and you’ll see the moon reflecting the sun’s light. And if there’s no moon, you’ll see stars. You’ll see other worlds’ suns and they’re still burning bright. You know what I say, brother?’ And then he paused a moment, just standing there, one foot off the edge and one hand on my arm. ‘If you’re gonna burn, burn bright.’”

Cronus listened to Kankri talk, frowning as he talked about his past. He never would have realized and hell, he never asked either. It made his heart ache to hear about how Kankri hurt. But the way Kankri talked about Kurloz, it was weird. It sounded like he was afraid of him, but simultaneously, it sounded as if Kankri loved the tattooed man. And for some reason, he felt as if a heavy weight settled on his shoulders. Cronus leaned back, his hand still on Kankri’s shoulder. He made to move it when Kankri added something else.

“It was during that year – I took a year off from school – when Kurloz offered to make my life better, or at least more bearable. He offered me some kind of, ugh, I don’t know, a pill? He told me it would help with all the bad feelings inside of me. He said that he’d take good care of me. He said that his miracles would change my life. And they did.” Cronus froze at the mention of Kurloz’s miracles. He bit his lip, but continued to listen to Kankri.

“They made me really happy. It sounds terrible, I know. My father found the pills and when I couldn’t properly explain what they were, he kicked me out. He kicked me out and told me not to come back until I had ‘fixed’ myself. He still calls me some days, asks me how I’m doing and how sorry he was about that. I still go back some days, but I always don’t feel right, since I haven’t ‘fixed’ myself yet. But after my father kicked me out, Kurloz took me in. Let me live in his apartment, even though I didn’t see him often.” Kankri trailed off after this, frowning.

“And then I moved to the city and I got my own apartment and I was able to get a pretty good job to help me pay my way back through online schooling and pay for rent. Never thought I’d see Kurloz again. I mean, out in the open…” Cronus opened his mouth to ask what he meant by that, but Kankri stood up, saying that he really had to go and catch the bus. He needed to study after all. Cronus hugged him goodbye and watched the little red sweater disappear down the sidewalk.


	11. Chapter 11

Cronus leaned against the door of his bedroom, the heaviness still resting on his shoulders. Kankri knew Kurloz. Kankri had known Kurloz for years. Something about that made him grit his teeth. When Kankri talked about Kurloz, he made it sound like the man was everything to him. It was like Kurloz was his savior and in a sense, he was. Kurloz had kept Kankri from taking his life all those years ago and Kankri’s life seemed to have gotten better. Just like Cronus’. But something wasn’t right, he could tell that much. When telling his story, Kankri had skipped over something, something important. Kankri never mentioned why he froze at the sound of Kurloz’s voice. He never hinted that his ‘savior’ might have a darker side. Cronus recalled the look of possessiveness that crossed Kurloz’s face in the café and shuddered.

Jane obviously had some sort of history with the man too, with how she reacted to him. But what kind? Kankri had mentioned Kurloz’s miracles and so there was that connection. Had Jane once taken the pills too? Was she still on them? Cronus glanced at the half-full pill bottle. Was there a way to get off them? Cronus knew something was up with them; he knew that they changed something in his life all right. Kankri had mentioned a week ago that he once got really interested in dreams. Was this the reason? Had Kurloz’s miracles messed with his dreams too?

Cronus bit his lip, unnerved. Maybe this had been a terrible idea, taking the drugs. He thought back to the first time he received them. Little red flags were waving around in his head, but he ignored it because he was desperate for some relief. Like Kankri would have been…

When he went to bed, Cronus set the pill bottle in his underwear drawer, hiding it and not taking a tablet. His mind was still racing and it took a while for him to fall asleep. When he finally did, he

Kankri pulls at your arm, his face bright as the sky above. You are going for a walk today. Kankri has been let out of the castle to go for a walk today. You blink and smile, following him. Something tickles in the back of your head, a strange sense of unease, but you push it aside. You are going for a walk with Kankri.

The two of you walk down a path surrounded by tall trees, the sunlight trickling in. Kankri walks with a bounce to his step, his auburn hair bouncing gently. You smile and wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him closer to you. You can feel the warmth of his body through your armo—clothes and you bring your head down to kiss the top of his head.

Something whistles through the air and Kankri gasps in pain, slouching against you. When you look down, an arrow sticks out from his shoulder. Another whistle and you curl around him, shouting. An arrow buries itself into your arm while another hits Kankri’s unprotected back. You scream again, feeling utterly helpless as you scan the dark trees for your enemy. You see a dark shape when suddenly Kankri gasps again. His hand reaches up to cup your face as he struggles to breath. You stare down in horror at the arrow piercing his neck. His hand trembles and he opens his mouth to speak, but only an ugly gurgling sound comes forth. You choke on your sobs as his hand drops limply from your face and his eyes glaze over.

No, no, no, not again. Your back shudders as you cry, holding the limp form of the prince in your arms. You want to scream, you want to kill whoever did this, you

“Pity,” the voice comes unbidden and you snap your gaze up to see a cloaked traveler. The voice holds no sympathy and you can feel a raw and barely suppressed anger emanating from the traveler. The traveler bends down to rest a hand on the prince and you lash out, shouting. The traveler pulls back his hand – dark hand, white tattoos – and

Cronus snapped awake, panting. No… He sat up slowly, hands brushing over his cheeks to press against his head. He stopped when he felt wetness. He was crying, he…

Cronus whimpered as the dream came back to him in full force. Kankri alive! His Kankri utterly and preciously alive! Only to be assassinated before his eyes. And he was helpless to do anything. Helpless… And then the traveler, the traveler, the… the what? He couldn’t recall anything that happened after Kankri died. Cronus’ gaze flickered around his room, coming to rest on the pill bottle sitting lonely on his nightstand. He squinted at it, pretty sure that he didn’t put it there, but… He shook his head. He didn’t want to go back to sleep, he didn’t want to risk seeing Kankri dying again. Again. Why did Kankri keep dying?

His question remained unanswered for the rest of the night.

♑ ♋ ♑

“Cronus!” Cronus shouted in surprise as Roxy’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. He snapped around, facing the frowning woman. He ducked his head, muttering a soft sorry.

“What’s gotten into you?” Another sorry. “Cronus, I’m serious. You keep blanking out and you’re standing there like a lost soul.” One more sorry. “Cronus, stop that. I’m getting worried about you. We need you here full and focused and if something’s messing with your head, you gotta let us know and, if we think you need it, we’ll give you the day off. I’m kind of thinking we should. We’re supposed to get a new shipment of those spells books,” She gestured at the books locked in one of the glass cases. “… tomorrow and I know you’re smart enough to know you can’t be spacing out like this when we’re stocking the cases. So listen, Cronus. You need to go home and get some rest or some relaxation and we’ll see you tomorrow. Come on.” Roxy took all the things in Cronus’ arms and set them down and guided him to the door. “Go get some rest, Cronus. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Cronus blinked, shaking his head. Sleep would be a good idea; he barely slept at all that night. But, he didn’t want to risk seeing Kankri dying again and he was still unnerved by the drugs. He sighed and started walking, losing himself in his thoughts.

He neared the bus stop he first saw Kankri and when he lifted his head, Cronus saw a tuff of auburn hair. His heart flipped and he smiled widely, raising his arm up and opening his mouth to shout at Kankri when someone pulled up behind Kankri and slipped their arms around him. Cronus faltered, his hand dropping as Kankri turned, his surprise turning into a bright smile and he hugged the taller man. The taller man smiled warmly down at Kankri, pulling him into a hug. Piece by piece, Cronus felt his heart fall apart as Kurloz bent down and whispered something in Kankri’s ear. Kankri tensed and squeezed Kurloz tighter. Cronus could hear his voice all the way where he stood, watching as Kankri apologized to Kurloz. The young man’s shoulders shook – he was crying – and Cronus stepped back, his eyes wet.

No, no, no, no. Kankri, Kankri had been his, right? He had always been… Cronus’ thoughts trailed away as Kurloz patted the young man’s head, running his fingers through the other’s hair. The tall man’s head lifted as his gaze locked on to Cronus. Kurloz possessively pulled Kankri closer, grinning widely and Cronus could almost see pointed teeth. Kurloz’s eyes flashed and a thought sparked in front of Cronus’ eyes, startling a gasp out of him: MINE.

Fear bubbled through his body, utter, almost paralyzing  _fear_  and Cronus turned and bolted. But the word followed him home, screaming in his head until he was curled in a ball on his bed, hands covering his ears as he whimpered.

MINE.

“KANKRI!” You scream, your mouth hoarse and tight from screaming. You cover your mouth, coughing violently on the black smoke billowing out from the burning building. The crowd around the building jumps back as a window bursts, flames licking out of the opening. You scream again, helpless as tears pour down your face. You try to move forward but something keeps you bound. The invisible force holds you in place and forces you to watch the building burn. You cry out in frustration and anger, but the force tightens its grip. You can’t move!

The fire’s heat intensifies and you are visibly shaking. You need to save him! You need to save Kankri, but you can’t. You can’t! You choke out his name again, your voice broken as your chest heaves with sobs. Why? Why is this happening? Why can’t he move? Why can’t he save his Kankri? Why? Why? You’re screaming again, screaming in anger and desperation. You can’t lose him! You can’t lose him! No, no, no, no,

_“CRONUS!”_

Like an arrow, you snap forward. His voice rings in your ears and you’re bolting toward the burning building without a care. You can’t lose him! You can’t! You can’t! You can’t—

The force clamps back on you, tightening around your muscles furiously. You stumble forward and fall face first into the ground, so close to the fire you can taste the ash in your mouth.

“Kankri! Kankri, I’m here, please! Please, no, I can’t lose him again! I can’t! Please, Kankri! KANKRI!” You try to move, but the invisible force, like strings around your limbs, hold you back. The strings hold you down and you can’t move. As the building collapses, you scream for the prince one last time.

♑ ♋ ♑ ♒ ♑

Cronus woke screaming. He woke screaming and trembling, tears pouring from his eyes. No, no, no, no! Why? Why did he keep dreaming about Kankri dying? Why? His dreams had been so nice, so why was he dreaming in nightmares now? Why? Cronus smothered his face in a pillow, his shoulders shaking as he cried harder. Kankri, no, he couldn’t lose him. He was tired of losing his Kankri. He was so tired. He wished he could go back to dreaming of them in the garden, talking about plants. He wanted to show Kankri how to dance, not watch him die! Cronus screamed in anger and hopelessness and he felt the barest of touches on his shoulder. He jolted away, falling from his bed. But he felt something touch his shoulder again.

He lifted his gaze, eyes just barely picking out a seemingly dark shadow – probably from the window – pointing at his drawer. The drawer. Yes. He’d put the pill bottle in his drawer. Maybe, maybe they’d help. After all, he only started dreaming well when he took the drugs. Maybe they’d make him better. They’d treat him good.

Cronus all but stumbled his way to the drawer, yanking the door open and dropping one of the tablets in his palm. Something flickered in the back of his head and he began to pull away, but the touch was back, gentle on his shoulder, lifting his hand to his mouth. He swallowed the drug quickly and dragged himself back into his bed. As he fell into a dreamless sleep, the touch patted him on the head. It was almost comforting and Cronus sighed desperately. A small whisper passed through his room, barely heard against the white noise.

MINE


	12. Chapter 12

“Can you explain again what I’m supposed to be doing, Cronus?” Cronus faced Kankri. He stood with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. It had been a while since Cronus saw Kankri with Kurloz. It had been nearly two weeks since he dreamed of Kankri’s death for three nights straight. Every single day since, he was terrified of skipping the drugs. He couldn’t see Kankri die again. Feelings for the young man he had first met in the dreams grew inside him the longer he spent more and more time with him. However, seeing Kankri with Kurloz had left Cronus with a hole in his chest; he felt as though he had somehow been rejected. Because of this imagined rejection, Cronus didn’t speak to Kankri for days.

He tried to contact him once. He tried texting him one night when he didn’t want to go to sleep for fear of dreaming something horrible, even if he took the pill. He almost sent the text, almost. But he didn’t and he took his miracle and fell asleep and dreamed about saving the kingdom. He didn’t dream about Kankri for the first few nights. He felt almost as if he was being punished. He felt as if he was allowed to dream about Kankri. It was only when Kankri called him one day, asking him if he was okay and asking him why he hadn’t heard from him in nearly a week, it was only then that he dreamt about the young man again. Cronus didn’t explain at first, but Kankri was persistent and Cronus finally told him how he had seen him and Kurloz embrace. He added that he knew Kurloz because the man had given him some drugs.

Kankri fell silent at that. Cronus trailed off and waited for some kind response. When Kankri finally did, he asked a very simple question.

_“Cronus. Do you dream about me?”_

The question shocked him. What had brought that up? Cronus had only mentioned that Kurloz gave him some drugs. He didn’t even mention that his dreams changed after taking one of the pills! But then he remembered what Kankri said when he told him the story of how he knew Kurloz. Kankri had taken Kurloz’s miracles. Of course when he told him that Kurloz had given him drugs, Kankri must have known exactly what he meant. But… the question still threw him off. After a moment’s consideration, Cronus replied with a quiet ‘yes’. Kankri ended the call.

“Cronus!” He snapped out of his thoughts, staring at Kankri. He tapped his foot impatiently on the ground. “Can you please explain what we’re doing instead of staring at me like that and getting lost in your thoughts?”

“Sorry Kan. I kinda just got lost in your eyes.”

“That was terrible.” Cronus laughed and Kankri relaxed just a touch.

“I’m teaching you to dance. Come on, I told you I would teach you.” Kankri nodded and uncrossed his arms. “Okay, now just mirror my movements. I’ll go slow for you. No music just yet. Ready?” Cronus went through the beginning steps, moving slowly and counting loudly. Kankri watched his steps for a time before hesitantly mirroring Cronus’ movements. He stumbled a few times and Cronus waited for him to give the okay to start again. They were dancing the Cha Cha, a fun little dance Cronus loved. As they went through the steps, Cronus let his mind drift again.

 _Do you dream about me?_  Why did that matter? Why did Kankri hang up after he said yes? This question plagued him the entire day after Kankri called him. He wondered why everything related to Kurloz was somehow also related to dreaming. Cronus messaged Kankri to ask why he hung up. He didn’t respond. Cronus asked him what the drugs had to do with dreaming. He didn’t respond. Finally, Cronus asked him if he dreamed about him too.

He responded with a small ‘yes.’ Cronus, feeling something that was a mess of dread and curiosity, asked him if he still took Kurloz’s miracles.

A few hours later, Cronus received a ‘yes’.

He had leaned back, his brow creased as he considered the implications of this. And now, while he taught the young man how to dance, he thought about these implications again. He had asked him a little while later if Kankri had dreamt about him before he ever met him. Kankri told him no, but he added that he had seen Jane a few times, but it was only at the coffee house after he met Cronus that he had actually met her. Jane obviously had some kind of history with Kurloz and Cronus wondered now if she had taken his miracles.

Kankri seemed to have gotten the beginning steps down and so Cronus showed him a few more. They continued for a while and Cronus thought some more on Kurloz and the dreams that seemed to follow him everywhere. He thought suddenly of the night when he watched Kankri die in a burning building. He thought about how he couldn’t move and how it almost seemed like he hadn’t been  _allowed_  to try to save Kankri. Almost like he was being punished…

Something tickled in his mind and Cronus lost his concentration. He stumbled and fell back, nearly smacking his head on the floor.

“Cronus! Are you all right?” Kankri rushed to his side, pressing his hand over Cronus’ head to see if he could find any injuries. Cronus looked up and started when he saw how close Kankri was to his face. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and a faint blush spread over his cheeks. Cronus scooted back a little, putting some distance between them when a thought popped into his head.

“Kankri? About two weeks ago. Fuck, I don’t know if you’re going to remember this, but do you remember dreaming anything two weeks ago? Like, anything about fire? Any dreams about fires?” Cronus had no idea how dreams worked, but he wondered if somehow, somehow there was a connection. Kankri tilted his head, thinking. He shook his head slowly, frowning. Cronus suddenly felt very self-conscious and like the most stupid thing just came out of his mouth.

“Fuck, Kanny, I’m sorry. That was a really weird question. Hell, people don’t usually remember their dreams from the night before, let alone one from two weeks—“

“Well, actually…” Cronus’ attention snapped to Kankri. “Actually, I do remember one dream, though it wasn’t an actual dream. I mean that it wasn’t during R.E.M. sleep; I was still relatively awake and all, but it…” He inhaled a shaking breath as if he was trying to calm himself. “It was more like a feeling. A feeling of something… burning. It felt like something was burning around me, like my house was burning down, but I couldn’t wake up. I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t even open my eyes, I, I, I, I remember shouting. I remember shouting something and… it was wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be what I should have said. I… oh god…” Kankri pressed his hands to his head. He was trembling, panicking. His eyes were wide and his pupils constricted to a point.

Cronus reached over and gathered him into his arms, patting him and running his fingers through his hair. He pressed his lips to the other’s head, trying to calm Kankri from his panic attack. But Kankri only continued.

“Cronus, I, I was so afraid. I was so afraid. I was so alone and I was afraid. I was afraid that everyone had left me, that everyone had abandoned me and I… I remember shouting. I remember shouting. I remember my skin feeling like it was burning and I remember shouting… your name. I… shouted your… name, Cronus.” Cronus froze, his hand stopped in mid-pat and his eyes widened.

Burning. The feeling of everything  _burning around him_. The fact that Kankri had shouted Cronus’ name.

“I… think I remember hearing your voice. Just before I actually dreamed, I think I heard your voice, Cronus.” But Cronus wasn’t listening. His mind was racing through that dream, imagining everything. The force that held him back. The building burning. The knowledge that Kankri was caught in there. The house _burning around him_. His name being shouted. The force releasing him as if, as if, as if  _surprised._  Surprised. Surprised by what?

“Cronus, are you all right? You look a little pale.” Cronus shook his head, coming back to Kankri. There were tear stains down his face and Cronus felt something in his chest break a little. Kankri had just been panicking and Cronus had a feeling that somehow Kurloz had caused it. His grip on Kankri tightened and he bared his teeth. If Kurloz was causing Kankri to be  _afraid_ , to have panic attacks because of prolonged use of his ‘miracles’… Cronus was done standing for that.

“We’re getting you off them.”

“What? Getting me off what?”

“Kurloz’s miracles,” Cronus spat the word out, anger boiling in his body. Kankri’s eyes widened and he tugged on his arm.

“No, no, no, no! That’s a terrible idea, Cronus.”

“Did you take his drugs that night?”

“Well, yes, but—“

“Then this is your intervention.”

“No, Cronus, listen to me! It won’t work. I’ve… I have tried before. It only gets worse. I do not go through withdrawal well. Kurloz helped me! He helped me more than any anti-depressant did! His drugs keep me sane. They keep me from wanting to jump…” Cronus felt his heart break a little more, but he shook his head.

“That’s not a healthy relationship, Kankri. I don’t care what kind of relationship you have with him, but that is in no way a healthy one.” He stood, dragging Kankri to his feet and embraced him. “I want what’s best for you and what’s best for you right now is to stay away from Kurloz and his drugs.” Kankri shuddered in his arms.

“It won’t work, Cronus. It won’t work.” Kankri cried, burying his face in the other’s chest.

“I’ll keep you safe, Kankri. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”


	13. Chapter 13

And it was a promise he kept. Or at least, he tried to keep it. Cronus stayed with Kankri the first night they skipped the drugs. Kankri was terrified of going to sleep and Cronus felt the same. So Cronus invited him to his apartment and they watched movies and drank coffee and ate popcorn and sugary treats to try to stay awake. However, Kankri fell asleep around three in the morning. Cronus stayed up longer, holding Kankri in his arms. Soon, even he crashed. His sleep was dreamless and light. Sometime, while the sky was still dark, a small breeze drifted past him. Cronus blinked his eyes open, groaning about if he left a window open when he saw what looked to be a silhouette of a person. He started and the shadow seemed to jump. When he blinked, the shadow was gone and Cronus groaned. His mind must have been playing tricks on him. He tightened his grip on Kankri and shifted, going back to sleep.

The next day, Kankri seemed a little off, but Cronus assumed it was from the lack of sleep. He was a little drowsy himself, but he had to go to work. Kankri came with him to the shop and wandered around a bit. Roxy nudged Cronus, winking and giggling, but he ignored her for the most part. Rose sat behind the corner and lifted her gaze when she saw Kankri. She stared at him for a bit before going back to her book.

As Cronus’ shift ended, Kankri mentioned that he had a project that he needed to finish.

“Well, let me come with you. My shift’s ending soon and I can be with you while you work.”

“No, that will not work. I am very sorry Cronus, but having you around will distract me far too much and I will not be able to finish.” Kankri ducked his head, staring away from Cronus. Cronus frowned and rested his hand on Kankri’s shoulder.

“Okay, chief. But please be careful. I promised I’d keep you safe. I’ll be on skype when I get home, okay? If you need help, I’ll be around.” Kankri nodded and left without another word. Cronus left soon after, jogging home and turning on skype. Kankri was on and Cronus sent him a message, letting him know he was there. Kankri replied to let him know that he was still around. Cronus left it at that and he worked on his music. Kankri was still working when Cronus fell asleep.

A flash of lightning. A scream. Rain. So much rain. Kankri slipping. You get tossed overboard. Another flash. Kankri screaming. Kankri gets dragged down. You are unable to reach him.

Light filled Cronus’ room as lightning crackled across the sky and Cronus woke up coughing. Thunder rumbled ominously and Cronus’ computer screen flickered at him. It was so quick, the dream. Cronus hardly remembered it; he could only pick out little bits and pieces. But Kankri had died again. Kankri had died in his dreams again. Cronus shook his head, refusing to give in. Instead, he checked his computer.

The skype icon was flashing; he had a new message. He opened the window and there was a response from Kankri. Kankri seemed to be panicking. He kept saying how he had felt like he was drowning. He said that he was under water, getting dragged down and woke up suddenly, choking as if there was water in his lungs. Cronus stared at his screen, his hands hovering over the keyboard in shock. He quickly video-called Kankri and when Kankri finally answered, he was huddled in a blanket, trembling and crying.

“Kankri, I’m here. Are you okay?”

“No, I am not okay, Cronus! I dreamt that I drowned and I woke up feeling as though I could not breathe! Cronus, I’m afraid.”

“Okay, okay, I—“ Kankri huddled deeper into his blanket, muttering something. “What did you just say?” Cronus asked. Kankri shook his head. “Tell me.” Kankri turned his head away. “Please Kan, tell me. I’m here to help you.”

“M-maybe it would be better… if I just had one. Just tonight.” Kankri’s voice trembled, barely hidden panic and fear causing him to speak quietly. Cronus shook his head, firm.

“No, Kankri. Those drugs are messing us up. They’re messing you up. You’ve been so happy and now…”

“But they helped. Cronus, they helped me! You understand, right? You know what they do to you, how much they help.”

“Well yes, but addiction isn’t worth it. An addiction to feeling good to erase the bad isn’t worth it. You’re flyin’ high and then you crash to the ground and sometimes, sometimes there’s no way to get back on your feet from that kind of crash. I don’t want to go through that. I don’t want you to go through that. Kankri, I…” Cronus paused, biting his lip. “I l—care about you.” Kankri lifted his head and Cronus saw the glint of tears through the screen. He knew Kankri was afraid; he was too.

“I know you’re scared. I am too. I had a dream tonight too. I dreamed that we were on a boat and it capsized and…” His eyes narrowed, a red flag waving around in his head. “I dreamed that you drowned,” he whispered. Kankri moved as if he were turning up his speaker volume. “I dreamed that you drowned, Kankri.” Cronus repeated, articulating clearly this time. Kankri pulled back a little, frowning in confusion. Suddenly, a loud crack resounded through his room and Kankri snapped his head back behind him.

“Kan, what was that?” Cronus asked. Kankri took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Thunder… I think. The storm must be close. You will stay with me, right Cronus? You will keep me safe, just like you promised? You will protect me, right?”

“Yeah, chief. I’ll keep you safe. Nothing’s gonna harm you.”

Oh how wrong he was.

Cronus woke to his phone ringing and he nearly fell out of bed trying to get to it. The night before, he stayed up with Kankri, talking to him and making sure he wasn’t going to go into another panic attack. He tried to stay up this night, but both of them were so tired they could barely keep their eyes open. They had gone to bed and about halfway through the night, Cronus dreamed again.

He dreamed that he was protecting Kankri from the dragon that he had first saved the prince from. But something had gone wrong and he got knocked to the side and Kankri had run over to him, but the dragon… The dragon swiped its claws down and they left large gashes in Kankri’s body. He died in Cronus’ arms.

Cronus grabbed his phone – Roxy was calling – and answered. Almost immediately, he pulled the phone from his ear at how loud Roxy was shouting.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Roxy, calm down. Why are you calling me? What’s going on?”

“Oh god, Cronus, you picked up finally! Cronus, it’s, it’s, oh god, it’s not good. Cronus, I… Oh god.”

“Roxy, what’s wrong?” Cronus leaned forward, his heart beginning to race in fear.

“Cronus, I’m, I’m so sorry.” Roxy started crying and he heard rustling as if she was handing the phone to someone else.

“Cronus, this is Rose. We had to take our mother to the ER we were worried she drank too much alcohol. While were here, there was a rush of activity and not even a minute later, we watched Kankri get rushed into the ER.” Cronus stopped breathing. “We did not get a good look at him, but it looked like a bear attacked him. He had these long scratches along his torso. We don’t know what happened, but they haven’t given the all-clear yet. Cronus, we are sorry.”

Cronus wasn’t thinking as he threw on some clothes. He wasn’t thinking as he rushed out of his apartment, forgetting to lock his door. He wasn’t thinking as he caught a cab to take him to the hospital. The only thing that ran through his mind as he met a tear-stained Roxy and a blank Rose in the hallway was his dream. All he could see was Kankri rushing over to him and the dragon killing him. All he could think about was how he dreamed that Kankri drowned and he woke up feeling like he had. All he could think about was Kankri dying in the burning building and when he found out that that night Kankri had felt like his room was on fire. Rose told him calmly that they were accepting visitors and that he was going to be fine. He was going to be fine, though there was going to be some scarring. Cronus opened the door to Kankri’s hospital room and stopped dead in his tracks.

Kurloz looked up from where he leaned over Kankri’s sleeping form. When he saw Cronus, he straightened, his eyes hard and his posture stiff. The tall man glared at Cronus, that possessive glint in his eyes. But, there was something else. Was Cronus seeing concern? Worry? Fear? But Kurloz blinked and it was gone. He strode past him, his chin lifted as he stared down at Cronus. And then he was out the door. Cronus turned to follow the man when Kankri made a small noise.

Cronus rushed over to the bed and looked down. Kankri eyes blinked open and he gazed up at Cronus. Kankri shifted, wincing, but smiled.

“Did you win, at least?” Cronus chuckled weakly, kissing Kankri.

“I’m sorry, Kan. I don’t know how this happened. I promised I’d keep you safe and…” Kankri kissed him back.

“You tried. I don’t know how, but I could see you. I could see you fighting for me. I saw myself run over and,” he whispered, offering a smile. “It wasn’t your fault that this happened. It was mine. I shouldn’t have run over to you. I will be okay, Cronus. Go back home and get some sleep. I will be fine here.” Cronus nodded, pressing a kiss to Kankri’s forehead.

When Cronus arrived at his apartment, he wasn’t surprised when he found it unlocked. He must have forgotten to lock it in his rush to the hospital. As soon as he stepped in, he felt a weight in the air and he spun around to… an empty room. He scanned the room, searching for the source of the feeling of dread when something knocked forcefully into his mind. He dropped to the ground, gasping in pain. He saw a pair of black shoes step towards him from out of nowhere and then he blacked out.

♑ ♒ ♑

When Cronus finally woke, he found himself sitting in a chair. He opened his eyes, lifting a hand to his pounding head. Once his vision cleared, he glanced around the place he was in and found that he was in a coffeehouse. He licked his lips, scanning the area. He turned and he jumped in surprise at the painting of the demon. He was in the coffeehouse Kurloz had taken him to that day when he had been fired. His heart pounded as he stared at the painting of the demon. The demon with its skeletal tattoos that transformed into an actual skeleton with the chunky, black mess spilling from its body. His gaze traveled along the strings tied around the demon’s fingers down to the figures below. Some of the figures were bright and colorful while others were crossed out. One of the crossed out figures was painted with a light blue outline with red glasses and black hair. Another beside her was painted with a violet outline. This one looked as if had scratch marks ripping through it. One drew his gaze and it was directly below the demon, somewhat behind the chair Cronus sat in. It was circled with bones and flowers and had a red outline and a red sweater.

“I’m glad you were able to make it, brother.” Cronus froze at the sound of the deep voice. He turned to see Kurloz standing at the other end of the table, blocking the entrance to the little room they sat in. Kurloz smiled almost friendly at him, but Cronus could tell it was a forced smile.

“I brought you here because we need to,” Kurloz paused as if he were searching for a word. “Discuss some things.” His voice turned to a hiss as he sat down. Cronus tried scooting his seat back, but his back hit the mural behind him.

“You see, Cronus. I have a problem with you. You’ve been interfering with things and, frankly, I’m getting tired of it. I was going to just play with you for a little longer – you were so fun at the beginning – but there has been an,” His tongue flickered out and Cronus saw a glimpsed of pointed teeth. “Unexpected development.” The smile faded away and Cronus sat frozen in utter fear. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something shift. He attempted to move his gaze, but Kurloz lifted a finger.

“Uh-huh, none of that. I am talking to you, motherfucker, and I expect you to listen. Keep your eyes on me.” The order was binding and Cronus felt as if his gaze was now tied to the man. “Good, brother. Now thanks to this development, the rules of our little game are changing. You can continue taking my miracles or you can stop, just as you have been. It really doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ll let you go. See? Snip, snip, gone.” Kurloz made a scissoring gesturing with his fingers and Cronus’ gaze was allowed to turn to the mural behind him. The string to the violet-outlined figure now had a cut through it.

“However,” Cronus’ gaze was pulled back to Kurloz. “Your interference with my little toy needs to stop. You saw what happened. You dream that Kankri dies and he ends up in a hospital. You keep dreaming like this and something worse will happen.”

“Wait, what are you talking about? How do you know about what I dream?” Cronus interrupted, confused and a little freaked out. Kurloz closed his mouth, glaring at the other. He pushed himself from the table and stood, towering over the seated Cronus.

“You honestly haven’t figured it out yet, motherfucker? And I thought you were smarter than this.” Cronus opened his mouth when Kurloz’s appearance rippled. “Didn’t you ever wonder how I seemed to know exactly what was going on? Didn’t you ever wonder why my miracles helped you? Didn’t you ever  _question_  why your life suddenly got better after you dreamed?” As he spoke, parts of his body lengthened and his skin darkened and faded to a deep gray. Two orange horns spiraled up from his head. The white, skeletal tattoos became more apparent and under his ribs, the skin warped and dropped away, leaving behind only bones and a black, chunky mess of guts and what looked to be tar in place of his stomach and intestines.

“Didn’t you ever wonder how I could find you no matter where you went? Didn’t you ever wonder why Crocker vehemently sent me out of the store? Didn’t you wonder why every time you saw me, dread swirled in your gut? Cronus, motherfucker, I thought you were smarter than this.” Kurloz smiled, his pointed teeth glinting white and dangerous.

“What are you?” Cronus whimpered, terrified and sick to his stomach.

“Turn around and take a look for yourself.” Cronus couldn’t turn around; he didn’t need to. He already knew what he would find. The mural of the demon. That was what Kurloz was. A demon. With the focus on dreams, probably some kind of demon who fed on dreams or something like that.

“Listen to me, Cronus. You can either stop interfering and Kankri can be happy and full of life. He won’t have to fear or panic or wake up in the hospital with gashes ripped through his skin. He can be happy for the rest of his life. Or you can force him to be miserable, never thinking about his wellbeing or his mental state. You can force him to go through his withdrawal and crash hard enough to send him over the side of a bridge. You can keep interfering with my Kankri and risk him getting caught in the crossfire.

“Just remember: It’s your fault if he falls.”

Suddenly, the space around him warped and the mural behind him came to life with a cackle. You feel strings wrap around your throat, choking you, cutting into your skin and


	14. Chapter 14

Your name is Kurloz Makara and you’ve lived a long time. You barely remember what it was like to not wake up with the evening and disappear during the day. You barely remember the taste of food, but you do not think it was as sweet as dreams taste. You are a demon who feeds on the dreams of others. There are many like you, but you’ve claimed this city as your territory. There are many dreams to be found and you do enjoy the taste of those who dream sweetly. But there was a time you weren’t able to feed as well as you used to.

Another demon like you arrived in the city and he, well, he was able to walk around the city in the bright and burning day. You followed him for a time, keeping to your shadows and to your darkness. You found him one day, entering a coffeehouse and staying for a while. You waited outside, hiding yourself well. Eventually, he came out and you called out to him. He seemed shocked to find you and he smiled his grim little smile. As you talked with him, you asked how he was able to walk around during the day. He showed you these little, purple tablets, calling them his mirthful miracles. You asked him how they worked and he showed you.

He took you to someone he’d been dealing with for a few weeks and he showed you how susceptible they were to dreaming once they took the drugs. You marveled at this and he added that this way, you could feed on anyone, any time you wished, as long as they were under the influence, and if they decided to skip a miracle or two, he showed you how to warp the dream from the inside so that they would  _have_  to take it again. You asked him his name once, but he never told you. Not really. When he left you, he left behind instructions on how to create the miracles. He did call himself by one thing: the Mirthful Messiahs. In a sense, he did answer your prayers like a messiah.

Years later and you were strong enough to walk around in the daylight and on a day you left the city to go travel to other places, you found the young man one step from falling off a bridge. You blinked through his memories and his dreams and his nightmares and you felt an attraction to him. Before you even knew what you were doing, you grabbed his arm, keeping him from jumping. You talked to him and asked about his life. You acted your part, acted like a human who cared. You saw potential in him, the potential of him being yours for a long time.

And so you gave him your miracles. And he blossomed. He was so full of life and so joyous, it even made your old, withered heart leap. The first time he skipped the miracle, you were hesitant to be harsh with him. You didn’t want to break him, you didn’t want to see him jump. That would be your failing, your refusal to hurt him.

Your name is Kurloz Makara and as the sun rises in the sky that morning, you watch as your worst fear plays out before you. You are sitting high on the edge of a building, one foot dangling over the edge, when you see a figure come out onto the roof of the building across the street from you. You watch as the figure steps to the edge of the roof and look down. You lean down, attempting to get a better look at the figure, when your old, withered heart freezes in shock.

Kankri lifts his head, trembling in the cold morning breeze. You can see that he’s cold. You can see that he’s afraid. You can see that he hasn’t slept. No… You stand, spreading your hands out, feeling for the life lines, the sources of the dreams you feed off of. If he jumps, you  _have_ to catch him! You will not let him die, not because of you. You finally find his line, his string, when a door slams open. You watch as someone comes up on the roof and your eyes train on his face. _Cronus._  You snarl. This is all his fault! If he hadn’t come into play, Kankri wouldn’t be on the edge of the roof.

Cronus calls out to Kankri and the young man turns, tears pouring from his eyes. You can hear his voice even from up here. He’s crying, crying, crying and you just… need…

“I cannot do this anymore Cronus! I am so tired and I am so afraid and I am so exhausted. It would be better. It’d be better if I wasn’t here.” You can’t see him close his eyes, you can’t see how he whispers how sorry he is, but you can see him fall backward. You scream, grabbing for his life, hoping that maybe it’d catch him, somehow. Cronus launches forward, sprinting to the edge and he reaches for Kankri.

But he’s just out of reach. You can almost hear Cronus’ heart break. You can hear him scream. You bare your teeth – this would be your failing, your refusal to see him hurt – and you grab a hold of Cronus’ string and push him over the edge. You work quickly, forcing a dream through Cronus, affecting the real world through him, affecting Kankri, and you catch them. Or rather, you slow their descent enough that when they hit, they don’t die. You do smirk when Cronus hits the ground first – motherfucker deserves that. You drop your hands, stumbling back from the edge and swaying. You will need to feed soon. You fade back into the darkness and hunt for a dream.

You find a delicious little day-dream in an apartment building. You sit in the corner, drinking in the person’s dream. Oh yes, you love these pretty little fantasies. They are so sweet and wishful. But you do hunger for a deep sleep dream. As you feed, you think about your little toy and the motherfucker trying to take him from you. Your teeth snap and grind together as you think about them. You are hesitant to admit that you’re addicted to the taste of your little toy’s dreams. He has such sweet dreams and he dreams so vividly, oh, it sates you for days. Your anger seems to affect the day-dreamer for he blinks out of his trance and your flow of food is cut off. You hiss and disappear away to find another source.

You hear whimpering from above you and so you crawl up to find the source of whimpering. You enter the apartment through a darkened crack and you start when you see Cronus. You immediately hide your presence and watch from the crack. Cronus embraces the crying Kankri and your blood boils as you watch him touch your toy. His touches are comforting, if a little panicked. He whispers to Kankri, telling him it will be okay, that he’ll keep him safe, that everything will be okay. You can tell that neither of them quite believe that. Cronus wraps Kankri up in blankets and sets up his computer to play a movie or such. When he presses a kiss to the young man’s forehead, you almost wrap your hands around his throat. Almost.

Instead, you clench your fingers tight into a fist, your claws biting into your skin. But then Cronus moves away, saying something about needing to go to work and how if Kankri needs him, to send him a text and he’ll come back as soon as possible. Cronus kisses Kankri one last time and Kankri embraces him, whimpering and crying and apologizing.

“Shh, hey, shhh. Kan, I promise I’ll be back. Everything will be okay. I’ll be back and everything will be okay.” Cronus squeezes Kankri and then forces himself to pull away, turning and walking out the door, locking it. Kankri cries for a few more minutes and then he sits in silence, sniffling every so often. He pulls out his phone at some point and sends a message. You want to reach out and hold him and you almost do when he starts muttering to himself.

“He should have just let me go. Everything would have been better if I was gone. He wouldn’t have to worry about me. He wouldn’t have to hurt while with me. Everyone would be better off without me. I’m so tired and I hurt everywhere and I just cannot deal with anything anymore.” Kankri lifts his head, counting on his fingertips and then shakes his head. “I need a higher building. Or a bridge. Maybe I could go out of the city one day. Just jump off. I should have jumped back then.” You know what he’s talking about. He’s talking about the day you met him, the day he stood on the edge of the bridge. Your brain starts racing, thinking of ways to keep him safe, thinking about how you would break apart at the seams if he was gone. You’d wither away. You grit your teeth. You are not letting this motherfucker go.

You dart from the crack, filling your form out into something he would recognize: the tall man with the dark skin and the white tattoos. You pap his surprised face, shushing him and speaking rapidly.

“No, no, brother. Those motherfucking thoughts are evil. They’ll kill you for just thinking them. They’ll rot you from the inside out. Brother, I’m here. I’m here to help you.”

“K-Kurloz!”

“Shhhh, brother, it’ll be okay. But, brother, he’s killing you. That motherfucker’s killing you. You’re better off alive.”

“How can you say that!” You pull back in shock. “How can you think that I would be better off alive when all I feel is exhaustion and anger and…” Kankri trailed off, shuddering into tears. “I just want to feel better. I just want to be happy again.” Your mind stops on one solution. You weigh it around; you don’t know if it’ll go well. You don’t know if it will even work. You might just end up killing him. You wrap your arms around him, feeling his body shake under you. What if you kill him?

But what if it makes him happy again? What if you can see him smile again? Is it worth the risk?

“Kurloz, is it worth it? Dying to be happy again?” This will be your failing, you think again. Your refusal to hurt him.

“No, brother. It isn’t. It isn’t worth it. Nothing will ever be worth that. Do you remember how happy you were? Do you remember how good you felt?” You feel him nod. “I can help you. I can make you feel good again. Brother, I can make you feel good, better than you ever have before.”

“But… Cronus w-“

“He is a liar and a cheater!” You snarl. When he flinches, you shoosh him again, cooing into his ear.

“Please, my little, red brother. I can make you feel good again. Just, please…” You lift his head and stick a hand into your coat. You pull free a pill bottle full of the little, purple tablets.

“Please, brother. Come with me. Follow me, my little, red brother.” Kankri takes the bottle hesitantly and you pull him up, taking him to the sink. You pour him a glass of water and set it before him. He gazes up at you and you smile kindly, nodding to the bottle. He retrieves one pill and is about to swallow it when you stop him.

“No, brother. Take them all. It’ll be okay. Take them all.” He shakes and you nod, encouraging him on. Finally, he tilts the bottle back, taking all the tablets at once and forces them down with the water. You embrace him, taking him back to the living room, back to his blankets. He grabs at you, whispering your name. You shoosh him, running your fingers through his hair. When he falls still next to you, you find his phone and you type out one little word and send it to Cronus.

_Goodbye._

Cronus is at Lalonde’s Little Shoppe of Magic when his phone vibrates. He sets the box he was carrying down and pulled out his phone, checking the text. Oh, it looked like he missed one. When he saw that both texts were from Kankri, he quickly read them. The first just read ‘Cronus’ and was sent a little while after he left the apartment. The second one read…

“No.” Cronus stumbled over the box at his feet as he rushed to the counter.

“Rose, I’m sorry, but I have to leave.” Rose lifted her gaze and when he tried to explain, she pointed at the door. He thanked her and ran out of the building. He ran back to his apartment as quick as possible, praying that he wasn’t too late. When he arrived, he glanced around the street to see if…

Nothing seemed out of place and no one seemed troubled. He jogged up the stairs anyways. When he entered his apartment, he saw nothing wrong. No blood, no sign of any injuries, no… sign of Kankri. He ran to the living room and found Kankri lying in the mess of blankets. He looked like he was sleeping. The momentary relief disappeared in an instant when he saw that Kankri wasn’t moving. At all.

He knelt by Kankri, whispering his name. Nothing. He started shaking him, calling his name. Nothing. Cronus felt his pulse. It was still there, weak, but there. The breathing was the same. Cronus immediately called for an ambulance.

♒

The doctor beckoned Cronus to him. Cronus waited, his heart beating weakly in his chest.

“Well, I’m not sure how to say this, but we don’t seem to know what’s going on. We checked his blood and we did find drugs in his system, but none of our tests are coming up positive.”

“What do you mean, doc?”

“What I mean is that we can’t recognize what drugs are in his system. Besides the symptoms of depression and what you’ve told us, there’s virtually nothing wrong with him. And yet, he’s unresponsive. Is there anything more you can tell us?” Cronus shook his head. The doctor sighed and wrote on his notepad. “Whatever happened, it does look as though he overdosed, but not enough to kill him. Just enough to—“

“Doctor Scratch, we got some results from his MRI. It, uh,” The woman glanced at Cronus and then at the doctor as if to ask if it was okay to speak in front of Cronus. Doctor Scratch gestured for her to continue.

“Well, for one thing, I’m not sure if he’s in a comatose state. He surely looks it and he is definitely unresponsive, but look at these scans. They’re much more active than his brain should be if he was comatose. In these scans, his brain has as much activity as if he were sleeping.” Cronus’ gaze snapped to the woman.

“Wait, hold up. Are you saying that he’s dreaming?”

“Well, it certainly looks that way, but—“ Cronus sprinted away from the two doctors and out the hospital, his mind whirling. Kankri was unresponsive. Kankri had drugs in his system and the doctors couldn’t identify them. Kankri’s brain scans had the same activity as if he were sleeping. Adrenaline sped through his veins as he caught a cab and sent it to Lalonde’s shop. He walked through the door, nearly colliding with a patron, and walked quickly around the store, searching for something. Rose lifted her head and watched him intently.

He nearly passed it when he saw the book. The purple leather book bound with black stitches. He opened it and flipped through the pages, scanning the information. He remembered this book after Kurloz revealed himself to be a demon, but Cronus hadn’t had enough time to find it again. Frowning, he flipped through the pages quickly, not finding what he was looking for.

“Do you need help, sir?” Rose’s voice startled him and he slammed the book shut. Rose sighed and took the book from him and glanced at it.

“Cronus, what did you do?” Rose sighed.

“I, I may have made a deal with a demon.”

“Describe it.”

“The… deal?”

“The demon, you imbecile.” Cronus gave a quick description of Kurloz. Rose flipped through the book, listening to his explanation. She gestured Roxy over and gave her some instructions and then the younger Lalonde sibling asked for Cronus to continue. He tried to give her some information, but he was running out of things to say.

“Do you know what it feeds on?”

“Dreams, I think.” Rose glanced at him quickly with a look that said, ‘why didn’t you say that first?’ She flipped immediately to one page and handed Cronus the book. Roxy returned with more objects and some other books which Rose grabbed and flipped through as well.

“Cronus, you just described a dream demon. Basically, they are demons who feed on dreams. That is all they do. Most are not actually dangerous to humans, but there are a few known cases of these demons posing a threat. There were reports in our community of a very dangerous dream demon passing through this city a couple of years ago. We did not get a lot of information about it, though we did get a name it seems to call itself: the Mirthful Messiahs. These demons can become dangerous if they get addicted to the taste of one person’s dreams. You see Cronus, these demons are able to affect the dreams they feed on in order to get more out of it. The reason why the MM, the demon from a couple years ago, was so dangerous was because he created a type of ‘medication’ for people to help better their lives.

“What really happened was that these drugs increased the power the demon had over the dreams. If a person took these drugs enough times, the demon could take complete control over their mental state and, given enough power and/or time, the demon could force someone into a dream. However, these drugs were unpredictable. Apparently, it took a lot of testing to make it safe enough for MM to pass it around to other dream demons. Even then, the demons were given explicit instructions to never let the person take more than one drug at a time. We were never sure why, but from your descriptions, I would bet that this demon gave Kankri more than one drug.” Rose handed him one of the other books.

“There is mention in that book that people who were in a state of forever-sleep could be sent into the world the person was stuck in to retrieve them. Special preparations would be made so that both people could ‘return’. The book describes it as you would be entering a place we will call the dream world. The dream world is said to be the place where these demons will reside in when their power needs to regenerate. However, the dream world is said to be just like a dream. The demon will be able to warp the world to its liking, but the book adds that since the person who goes in to retrieve the other goes in by dreaming, they do have the potential to be able to affect the dream world, much like how people are able to affect their dreams if they know how to. Each person in the dream world is a player, as long as they are dreaming. Each person has the potential to affect the world.”

At that, Rose turned away and walked back to the counter. Cronus stared after her and she sighed.

“Cronus, I would suggest you follow the instructions in that book. We need you in your right mind if you’re going to continue working here and if your boyfriend is off in a state of forever-sleep, you will not be in your right mind. Also, if you could bring us back a souvenir, I’d love to put it on display.” Rose smiled in her grim little way and in the next moment, Cronus was out the door, determination and adrenaline coursing through his veins. 


	15. Chapter 15

Cronus gazed at Kankri’s unresponsive body. He had gone back home and searched his entire apartment for the last of Kurloz’s miracles. Once he had found them, he came back to the hospital and asked to visit with Kankri. The doctors allowed him and here he was.

He caressed the young man’s face; he looked so peaceful while Cronus felt as though he was on the edge of a warzone. His broken expression hardened as he thought of Kurloz. He would make the demon pay for taking away Kankri. He would make him pay for causing Kankri so much pain. He would find Kankri and he would bring him back. It never occurred to him that Kankri may have gone willingly with Kurloz. Cronus bent down and pressed his lips to the other’s forehead.

“I promised I would keep you safe, Kankri, and I intend to keep my promise.” Suddenly afraid, Cronus kissed the young man and straightened. He unscrewed the lid of the pill bottle and, with a moment’s hesitation, swallowed all the pills.

The effect sent him staggering and in an effort to hold himself up, he turned over one of the tables in the room. As he and the table crashed to the floor, Doctor Scratch rushed in and the last thing Cronus heard was the doctor’s call for help.

You stand, a hand against your head. You glance around the empty, white space and you stare at the gates. The gates are black, cast iron. You try to walk in the other direction and you don’t go anywhere. You can walk, but the gates stay the same distance behind you. You walk closer and study the gates. What looks to be spider webs hang off the bars. They flutter and flow as if caught by the wind, but the air is still around you. You push at the gates, but they do not open. You move around the gates; you can move behind them. You smirk and begin walking, but the distance between you and the gate doesn’t change. You frown, confused, and you do all you can to escape the gates, but nothing works. Nothing changes. Eventually, you push again at the gates. You open your mouth and you shout at the gates, but no voice comes out.

You have no voice? That can’t be right, you think. But it is a dream, anything is possible… Anything…

_“Each person in the world is a player.”_

You blink and the voice fades away. Who’s voice? You try to remember and you suddenly see a silhouette of a person, a girl, a girl with a grim little book.  _Rose_ , you think suddenly. Yes, Rose told you that. You, who are you? Who are you again? Every person is a player. When the name comes to you, you feel as though something unwinds from around your throat.

“Cronus,” you whisper. That’s right. Your name is Cronus Ampora and you came here to save Kankri. You lift your hands, feeling an odd sort of power radiating from them.

“Every person’s a player,” you speak louder and the power seems to strengthen. “I am a player. I can change this world. I can…” You trail off and turn back to the cast iron gates. You seem to know exactly what to do, though your mind feels fogged. You stand in front of the ornate gates and you breathe in deeply. You are a player, you think as you raise your hand. You can change this world, you think as you touch the gates. You are here for a reason. The gates shimmer and the black iron around your hand fades into stainless steel. And nothing will stand in your way.

The gate’s entire appearance bends to your will, changing completely to steel. With a deep breath, you push open the gates and step through.

You stand on a pathway. Dense, dark trees tower over you from either side. You look behind you and the gates stand open. Back through the gates, you can see a bright light and it fills you with hope. Before you, the forest fills you with a sense of dread and danger, the feelings creeping into you like the cold. You realize you have a choice. Back to safety or into danger. You close your eyes and you steel yourself and you take a step forward.

The gate slams shut behind you with a bang and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end. You glance behind you and you stare at the sight of the mist creeping in. The mist creeps in through the trees, filling the space behind you and the space on either side of you. You stare at it for a little longer until it touches you and you gasp! The mist is  _cold_ , sucking your heat and your energy from you. You bolt away from it, panic rushing through your blood as you try to escape the mist. It chases you and you can feel the coldness reaching for your back. You have to get away! You have to run, you have to

The path turns sharply and you almost run off the path, but you pull back at the last second, staring down at the sudden drop. You back into a stone wall and glance at the path ahead. It winds up into a mountain pass and it seems clear. You glance back at the forest and the mist creeps closer, but it looks as though it won’t cross into the new terrain. You sigh in relief and press your back against the stone. Once you calm your racing heart, you start walking.

The new region is bare and rocky and while you are sure you are high up, the air feels warm. You climb up the path, the incline steepening until you are sure it is almost vertical. You reach the top of the incline and you are speechless in awe. The incline has taken you to the highest peak and you stare down at the mountain range before you. You try to follow the path with your eyes, but it turns and it bends and you feel cold fear seep into your chest as you realize it’s a labyrinth.

Beyond the labyrinth, there’s a dark castle and you know that that is where Kankri is. You inhale and start down to the labyrinth’s entrance with determination. Once down, the labyrinth stands tall and foreboding before you, the stainless steel gates hanging open, broken and loose from their hinges. The walls are made of cold stone and you reach up to brush your hand along it as you pass. At your touch, the stone pulses and a light glows from within. You lean forward, peering at it. A pair of black eyes snap open from within the light and a mouth filled with pointed teeth grins.

“WRONG.” The mouth bellows and you back away from the wall in terror. The eyes and the mouth protrude from the wall and suddenly a skull stares at you from the wall. It cackles and you bolt away. You take one look behind you and watch as a giant, skeletal beast steps out from the wall. It swings its head at you and starts cackling again.

“Run little fish, run. The messiahs are angry and it’s your head they’re after. Run little fish, RUN!” The beast charges after you. It’s all legs and claws and teeth, snapping and cackling as you speed away from it.

You know you’re lost. You’re lost beyond all hope, but your only instinct is to flee the beast after you. You turn a corner and you run straight into a dead end. You turn around and go the other way, speeding up as you see the beast out of the corner of your eye. It chases after you and the second time you hit a dead end, the beast blocks your way out. You face it, panicked and everything screams at you to escape to find some way of escape. The beast steps forward and you lift your hands, shouting. The wall next to you opens up and without hesitation, you dart through the opening. You slow after that, terrified, but your legs feel like jelly.

You freeze when you hear the sound of claws against stone. The beast is back! Oh, you wish you could just disappear! You need a break to catch your breath. Just a few minutes! The sound gets louder and you brace yourself, wishing you could be invisible. The beast enters the area you stand in and you almost bolt when it swings its head away from you. Its head swings back and it seems confused.

“Where are you, little fish? Come out, come out. I just want to taste your flesh as your blood trickles down my maw.” It steps into the area, lifting its skull as if sniffing the air. “Where are you?” It growls, turning down the path leading the opposite way. You stand dumbstruck until a familiar voice rings in your ear.  _Everyone’s a player._  You look down at your hands. You can still see you, but the beast can’t. You can affect the world. You don’t quite know how to do so, but you do remember that you can affect the dream.

With a clearer head, you walk along the path, still hopelessly lost, but you don’t feel so hopeless. You try to affect the world, but you seem to only be able to affect small things. You look up and you find yourself in in a dead end again. You turn and try to go back out, but there’s a wall where you entered. You spin in a circle, searching for an exit when you see another open up. You step forward, but the beast walks out from behind a wall, cackling at you.

“Pretty little trick you got there, little fish. Game’s over now. Master thinks you’re getting a little too strong.”

“Strong?” You ask, but the beast cackles again and suddenly you’re falling, falling, falling down into the dark and

You sit up from the floor and lift your head up as the trap door hangs open, letting in only a small amount of light into the dark room you’re lying in. You stand and

_Cronus_

You spin around at the voice, but there’s nothing behind you.

_Cronus_

You look around for the owner of the voice, but you can’t see anything. A deep, dreadful cold seeps into your legs and when you look down, you see the mist from before curling around your feet. It drags at you, pulling away your heat, your energy, your

 _“Ampora, you pathetic worm.”_  Your breath catches in your throat when you hear Sollux’s voice. You turn and the mist rises up and you see the younger Captor staring at you with disgust.

 _“Ampora, I can’t believe that you fucked again. You think I’m going to bail you out again? You think you’re worth it? You know what, don’t even answer that. You aren’t worth my time, Ampora. You never were. The company was right in firing you, you pathetic worm.”_  You try to back away from Sollux, but the mist at your feet holds you in place.

 _“You disgust me.”_  You’d know that voice anywhere. You turn to see your father glaring down at you.  _“You lazy, worthless, piece of shit. I should have known better than to hire you in the first place. You couldn’t even do the simplest of tasks. You aren’t worth my time, nor are you worth being called my son.”_  You stumble back and you hear someone laugh behind you. You try not to turn, you try to ignore the words piercing your heart. But you do turn and you see Mr. Nereus laughing down at you.

 _“I knew you were no good! I knew you belonged on the street! You’re worthless! You’re pathetic! No one wants you, why don’t you just go die!”_  You shake your head. No, you’re not worthless. People want you, right?

As if in response, everyone you’ve ever known appears, all of them agreeing and shouting their scorn at you. Worthless. Pathetic. Disgraceful. Unwanted. Hated. Needy. Clingy. Unwanted. Useless. Deplorable. Undesirable. Abhorrent. Unwanted. Unwanted.  _Nobody wants you._  You crumple down and curl into a ball, the freezing mist drifting over you as the chorus of voices shout and tease and whisper and laugh at you.  _Nobody wants you. No one could ever want you. You’re better off dead._  Tears slide down your face and you curl tighter. You just want to wake up. This is a nightmare. You’ve been chased by mist and then by a beast. You thought you could change everything. You thought you were important. But you’re not. You’re pathetic. You’re unwanted. Even your own father hates you.

You don’t know how long you lie there, but the mist shifts and you can sense someone nearby. You don’t lift your head. You just wait for their scorn.

“Why are you lying down, mister?” The voice surprises you. You don’t really recognize it. Maybe a bit, as if it was someone you passed by once. You curl tighter. You hear them shift and the mist parts around you a bit.

“Mister, did you make a wrong turn? You were going to get the prince, right? The king asked you to. He asked you to go save the prince. I watched you go. I watched you ride off on your horse. You didn’t come back. Did you save the prince?” You lift your head and a little girl squats in front of you. You gradually realize she was the little girl who ran up to you in that first dream. She smiles brightly and stands up, holding out her hand.

“Come on, mister! The prince is in trouble and you need to save him! Fear not, mister. Free the prince and beware the cloaked stranger. Fear not, mister! He needs you.” You stare at her and you take her hand. You are suddenly aware of the cold from the mist and everywhere you look, you see the mist and none of the people. The girl smiles at you, pulling you up.

“Be careful, mister. The master of the dream wants to trick you. The longer you stay here, the more he feeds. Beware his tricks. He can only use what you allow him to. Good luck, mister. He needs you.” The girl laughs brightly and fades into a ball of light, her laughter echoing around in the darkness. The light boops your nose and then bounces away, leading you out of the darkness. You follow, sluggish at first. The light comes back every once in a while, touching different parts of you. With every touch, your strength returns, you feel more energized, you feel more confident. The mist fades in the light and soon you’re sprinting after the light, laughing. You feel like nothing can stop you. You will reach Kankri. You will take him back. You will succeed. Hope bursts through you and you run faster, keeping pace with the light.

The tunnel ends and you’re bathed in light. The ball of light boops your nose again and fades completely. You stand on the edge of a hill, the castle much closer now. You look down at your hands and you close your eyes. You need a horse. Or something to ride on. Anything will do, anything at all. You clench and unclench your fingers, imagining anything. You feel a warmth envelop your arms and you feel it rush down to your hands. You open your eyes to watch bright threads flowing from your fingertips. The threads weave in and out and they bend into a shape. You bend the threads to your will and suddenly, a motorcycle sits before you.

“Eh, good enough.” You jump on and speed down the path. The path being dirt worries you, so you move a hand over it and imagine it as asphalt. There’s no glowing light threads this time, but the path does change to asphalt. You drive for a while, watching as the castle gets closer, when something catches your eye. Or rather, someone. You stop the motorcycle and park it, dismounting and you approach the figure. As you walk closer, their appearance comes into light and you… well, you stop.

Kankri glances around, an uncomprehensive look on his face when he sees you. Or at least you think he does. His eyes seem to try to focus on you, but then his mouth opens.

“You. You, how dare you leave me!” You step back, surprised at his anger. “How dare you leave me when I needed you most! How dare you leave when I needed you around!”

“Kan, wha? You know I had to go to work. I left you alone because I had no choice.”

“Had no choice? You had no choice? Give me a break. You had all the choice in the world. You had the choice of staying with me. You had the choice of leaving me. You had the choice of letting me fall and you had the choice of catching me! Had no choice?” Kankri stares at you, his voice breaking and his face falling. “I was the one who had no choice. I wanted to die. I wanted to be happy. You caught me, somehow you caught me and you left me with no choice. I had to go with him.”

“No, no, no Kankri. I kept you safe. I wanted to keep you safe. I promised I would. I didn’t mean to make it look like I left you no choice. Chief, I…” You can feel tears coming to your eyes. You didn’t mean for this to happen. You didn’t mean to make Kankri… hate you… You wrap your arms around him and your shoulders shake.

“Kankri, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” You start crying, tightening your grip. You feel him relax a touch and hold him closer, your heart filling with hope.

“You’re pathetic.” Kankri’s words are spikes piercing your heart. “You’re pathetic for crying like this.” He pushes you back and you stare at him, disbelieving.

“You have always been so pathetic and so desperate in your courting of me. You flirt and you say such  _sweet words_  but all you’ve ever wanted,” He pauses, closing his eyes, seeming to fight with the words filling his mouth. He exhales in a shuddering breath and he lifts his gaze, glaring daggers into your soul. “All you’ve ever wanted was to fuck me. I have seen your dreams. I have seen you tying me up and fucking me. Fucking me hard and rough and so desperate and so pathetically needy! I have seen you leaving me alone after you fuck me.” His voice shudders and he sounds so broken. “I’ve seen you drop me once you’re done and leave me tied up and alone and afraid and cold and crying AS IF YOU NEVER CARED!”

Kankri turns his head away and you don’t understand. You don’t understand where all this anger came from. You step closer to him and he flinches away. You lift your hand up and he flinches again, but you rest a hand on his shoulder. His gaze snaps up to you, focuses and his eyes grow wide. He suddenly grabs you, his nails digging into your skin.

“Cronus.” He whispers helplessly and you blink and he’s gone. Had that been a trick? An illusion created by Kurloz? That would explain the anger, but… You bite your lip, thinking. You turn back to the motorcycle, but when you look at the castle, you’re at its gates.

You stare at the cast iron gates baring the way. Kankri is in there, somewhere. You’ve been in this dream long enough. You need to get Kankri back. You will bring him to you. You press your hands against the gates, not quite pushing them.

“This is my dream. I will take Kankri back. He will be yours no longer. I promised I would keep him safe. I will not break that promise again.” You push at the doors with all your strength and the stainless steel gates open with a clang.


	16. Chapter 16

Your name is Kankri Vantas and you are afraid.

You don’t know where you are; everything feels slow and it feels as though you are drugged. Where were you? Your brain is taking a while to process things. You feel like you are floating. You feel like you are dreaming. Are you dreaming?

A sudden burst of light makes you scream. You scream and your body convulses and you feel hands on your body. Cold hands hold your body, stroking you, petting you, and your screams die in your throat. The soft feeling comes back and you relax. One hands leaves your skin, but the other stays by your head, petting you and comforting you.

Why do you need to be comforted? You were just screaming. But… before that. You remember a soft voice. It was worried and frantic. You will be safe, it said. You will be protected, it said. I will make you feel good again.

Again? Were you not feeling good before? You hear a snarl and the hand stops petting you. You whine softly, but the hand moves away. The soft feeling sharpens with the other’s anger. Other? Who’s here with you? Didn’t they promise they would keep you safe? You will be safe. You will be safe. They promised. They promised. He… promised.

You feel a force pull you aside. It pulls you from the inside out and half of you leaves you and the other behind. You are pulled through the world and you land. You stand straight and you don’t know where you are, but… but you feel words filling your mouth spilling from your lips. You can’t quite see, but… there’s someone in front of you. You see their shape and you see them turn toward you. You can’t stop the words and the person steps back. The person speaks, trying to defend themselves, but still you talk over them. The person wraps their arms around you – they are warm and strong and  _familiar_  – and mutters how sorry he is. Your voice trails off as he cries. You feel lost and broken. Something hurts. Everything hurts. Your head hurts. Your mouth hurts as if the words were spikes on your tongue.

Your vision sharpens and you find your voice. You start speaking, but it’s wrong. It’s wrong, these words. You don’t want to say these words. You don’t want to say these words! Your voice shifts and it is your own. Your words are still spikes, but they pierce you rather than the one embracing you. They release you. But you’re still speaking. You raise your voice and you start shouting! Tears roll down from your eyes and you’re staring at the person before you. They are so familiar, so real, so… so…

Safe.

The word screams at you.  The word screams at you even as you shriek at him. He reaches for you and you flinch away. How could he want you, you think, after all you put him through? How could he ever want you again? But he rests his hand on your shoulder and you look at him and you see his face. You see his face and you know him. You know him! You feel a force tugging at you like strings on a marionette. Have you served your purpose? No! You refuse. You grab him in your shock, needing him near. Safe, he promised he would keep you safe. You whisper one word. His eyes widen and then you’re gone.

You’re pulled back. You’re pulled away. You’re pulled back to the hand and the petting and the comforting, but the word is screaming at you.

Safe.

Safe.

Safesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafesafe **SAFE**.

_I’ll keep you safe, Kankri. I’ll keep you safe. I promise._

Yes. He promised. That’s right. He promised! Kankri. Your name is Kankri Vantas and you…

You don’t know where you are. You hear doors clang open and you shift. The hand comes back and pets you, but you can feel anger radiating from the owner of the hand. The owner of the hand stands and you open your eyes, just a little, and you start. The other person is humanoid, but where his abdomen would be, white bones stand stark against the blackness of the thing’s guts. Two orange-ish horns spiral up from its head and its skin is gray and it turns its head at you and you gasp.

“Kurloz?” You whisper in terror. Kurloz stares at you, surprised. He makes a move to step toward you, but there’s a noise below and he snarls. He kneels down and pats you, pressing a finger to your lips and silences you. He then stands and goes after the sound.

What in the world? You push yourself up from the ground – bed, you’re on a bed – and look around the room you’re in. The room is very luxurious, to say the least. It is covered in what looks to be silk curtains and pillows and it is all a very bright yellow. You stand and sway a bit, but walk around the room. There seems to be only one door and many windows. However, each window you look out of views a completely different place. One window views a dark forest, another a mountain peak and a labyrinth, and still another a dark room. You pass a window, but come back to it, your mouth dropping open.

You see yourself lying in a bed in what looks to be a hospital. A doctor comes into the room, looking between you and some brain scans in her hands. You touch the window and it shimmers and it’s as if you unmuted a video. The woman talks to herself, shaking her head. She wonders out loud if there was going to be another case of people falling into a coma-like sleep. Another? You touch the window again and it falls silent. You move to the next window and you see Cronus lying in a hospital bed as well. You stare forlornly at his sleeping form. You press your head against the window and think,  _I’m so sorry._

When you lift your head, the window next to you is blaring loud and you glance at it. Cronus looks around, climbing up a spiraling staircase. You rush to the window, watching as he pauses and stares up. Come on, what’s he looking at? You touch the window and it shimmers, growing larger and larger until it’s all you see. You stand by Cronus, but when you reach out for him, your fingers pass right through him. You realize with a start that you’re not actually here. You look up, trying to find what Cronus is looking at.

Kurloz stands at the top of the stairs, glaring down at Cronus.

“Give me back Kankri!”

“Like he’s yours to have.” Kurloz snarls and flicks his hand. The ceiling above Cronus rumbles and bricks start falling down on him. Cronus raises his hands up as if to protect him and the bricks bounce off an invisible barrier. Kurloz frowns and steps back, pulling the walls in to block Cronus’ passage. You watch as Cronus runs up to the stone and press his hands against it. A small hole forms and he steps through. You follow him into a wide room, much like the one you woke up in. Kurloz stands in front of a door and in a strange two-way sort of view, you look at the door from where you stand by Cronus and from the inside of the room with the windows. That door leads to you.

“He’s not yours either, Kurloz.” Cronus’ voice drops into a low growl.

“He’s more mine than yours. He’s been mine for years before he ever met you. I do not give my toys up very easily.” Toys… He calls you a toy. You feel a hole form in the pit of your gut. Is that all you were ever to him? A toy? Something to be played with? What happens when he’s finished with you? What happens when you serve your purpose? Will he just cut your strings and throw you away? You whine and Kurloz’s gaze shifts to the door behind him.

“So you’re just going to use him for the rest of his life? You’re gonna lock him up in here and never allow him to leave, is that it?”

“He’ll be safe here!” Safe, there’s that word again. Safe.

“Safe? How the hell will he be safe? You can’t keep him forever. At some point, his body’s gonna die. At some point, his body’ll give out. Do you think he wants to stay here with you? Did you ask him?”

“Do you think that he’d rather be with you? A worthless, pathetic worm like yourself? You promised you’d keep him safe and look at everything that’s happened! He’s died in your dreams, he’s woken up with gashes in his body, motherfucker, he’s tried to jump off a building! Is that your idea of keeping him safe?”

You stare at Cronus, wishing, praying that he’d say something. He hangs his head at Kurloz’s words and the other smiles triumphantly.

“Is that  _your_  idea of keeping him safe?” Both you and Kurloz stare at Cronus as he raises his head, bewildered and angry. “I’ve gone through a lot to get here and I’m sure you know it. Every step of the way, I didn’t think I’d be quick enough. I was afraid of losing him so I came after him. But I’ve realized something. You’re afraid too. Of losing him. But instead of going and talking to him about this, you came after me.” Cronus steps forward as Kurloz raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t dream that Kankri died. No, wait, lemme rephrase that: it wasn’t my fault Kankri died in my dreams. Not once did I let him die. Not once did I throw him into danger. Sure, I dreamed he died, but I never directly caused it. Now let’s see, when did I dream Kankri died? Oh yeah, every time I didn’t use your ‘miracles’. I agree with you. Why didn’t I see this before? Why didn’t I realize that every time my life turned around and I decided to not take a tablet – why would I when my life got better than my dreams? Why didn’t I realize that I was being punished?”

You back away, confused. Punished? When was Cronus being punished? You think about all the times you saw him. Never once did he seem like he’d done anything wrong. Except…

Your eyes widen as you think about the first time you skipped taking a tablet. You dreamed terribly. It was a horrible dream and when you woke up, Kurloz was there. He was there to hold you and to calm you. You always thought it was strange how he would show up out of nowhere, whenever you needed someone the most.

“Why didn’t I realize that you were changing my dreams? I remember, Kurloz. I remember after that first night I dreamt. You asked about my dreams. I remember. Somehow, I don’t know how, but somehow, your little miracles let you into my head and let you play around with anything you could find. So you could make me feel good when my life was shit. So you could make me dependent on you when I wanted to smile. So you could punish me when I didn’t do what you wanted. I’m not the first you’ve done this to. There’s Kankri. There’s Jane, somehow there’s Jane. Who knows who else you’ve ruined by doing this. But I swear, Kurloz, I  _swear_ ,” A strange sort of harpoon-gun appears in his hands. “I will be the last.”

Cronus pulls the trigger and a white light bursts from the gun. Kurloz narrows his eyes and raises one hand. The light hits the barrier formed by his hand, grazing the door leading to you. You stumble and fade back into the room with the windows. You can hear the two fighting outside the door and you know, you  _know_ Kurloz is too strong. You feel as though Cronus knows it too and that thought empowers you.

You think about what Cronus said, about how Kurloz punished him for not taking the tablets. You see so much of Cronus’ experiences reflecting your own and it frightens you. It frightens you because you had been alone for so long. You were so ready to die, thinking that it would save you from the hurting. But to see Cronus fighting for you? You felt your heart pounding. You had needed help for your entire life, so broken and so tired, willing for anyone to help you, even if they were slowly killing you.

You touch your mouth, right where Kurloz silenced you. If you focus, you can feel stitches along your lips. You close your eyes, thinking about all the times you talked to Cronus. You think about how he was so willing to listen to you. He wanted to hear you talk. He didn’t care how long you did or what you talked about. He loved hearing your voice. You think about Kurloz. Kurloz who talked over you and interrupted you, always silencing you. Something blasts into the wall and you hear a pained cry.

You slip a finger under the strings and you pull. Another pained cry. You hear Kurloz shouting. You hear Kurloz laughing, telling Cronus how worthless he is. Anger boils hot within you and your jaw snaps open in a scream, the strings breaking with the force of your anger. You will not be silenced. You will not be used. You are not a toy to be played with. Your name is Kankri Vantas and you are angry.

You push the door open and stop when you see Kurloz with his foot on Cronus’ chest, leaning with all his weight on Cronus’ sternum.

“Kurloz!” The demon’s smile drops when he hears your voice and he turns to face you.

“Brother, how did you—“

“That is quite enough from you, Kurloz.” You clench your teeth, angry, but keeping a calm face. “I want you to answer a few questions of mine. No, don’t interrupt. First, am I only a toy to you? Is my entire purpose, according to you, to  _serve_ you and your desires? Because if that’s all you felt towards me,” Your upper lip lifts in disgust. “Then you deserve to be dropped into the deepest pit of hell.” The floor rumbles and Kurloz backs away from Cronus as the floor falls away into a pit of fire. You glance at Cronus, inhale, and he’s moved aside and out of danger.

“How are—“

“Oh it’s quite easy, actually. You should know, that after spending a good part of my life as your  _toy_ ,” You skirt around the edge of the pit, gathering your voice. “That I might have picked up a few of your tricks. Of course, I didn’t really have any use for my knowledge. Not until now at least. There were a few times, of course, where I attempted to use my knowledge of how dreams work and I attempted to affect my dreams. You know, just out of curiosity. I’m sure you wouldn’t have noticed. After all, if it doesn’t concern you directly, you’re never there. So, Kurloz, am I only a toy to you?” You glare up at Kurloz and he stares back at you, bewildered. You smirk; you’ve won.

SMACK.

You stumble back, your hand pressed against your cheek where he slapped you. You look up at him, suddenly very, very afraid. He straightens, towering over you.

“I never meant to be cruel to you. But if this is how you repay me for saving your life, then you’ve forced my hand.” He kicks you in the gut and steps over your curled form. You watch as he steps over to Cronus. He picks him up by the shirt collar and walks through the door to the room with the windows. You pull yourself up and limp after him, only to watch as he jumps through the window leading to where Cronus lies in a hospital bed.

**♒ ♑ ♋**

The woman sighed and stood up. They needed to do more research on comas and diagnosing these states. The man, Ampora, had fallen into a similar state the Vantas kid had. She felt so helpless. She had opened the door to leave when the Vantas kid sat up with a gasp. The young man was panting, the heart rate monitor racing with his pulse. He looked at her and pointed at the IV in his arm.

“Get me out of this. Please, I’m begging you. I need to find Cronus.”

“Uhm, no. You were in a comatose state and there is no way I’m—“ A male nurse ran by the room and back tracked.

“Someone took the Ampora guy. We’ve got a patient who’s saying he saw someone carrying him. I checked his room and he’s gone. He was still out when I last saw him and,” The guy stopped talking as soon as he saw Kankri sitting up. “… Okay, but the patient keeps saying that someone took him. Said it was a gray man with orange horns? The patient is a little freaked out.”

“Can you take these thing out of me right now? Please or I will rip them from my arms myself.” The woman stared at Kankri as if he was out of his mind, but something flickered through her eyes.

“Fine. But as soon as you find Cronus, you come right back here, got it?” Kankri nodded and the woman unhooked him from the machine. As soon as he was free, he bolted from the bed and out the door. A patient said a gray man with horns took Cronus? He had to find that guy first. In fact, he ended up almost tripping over the man. He turned a corner and stumbled to a stop, seeing a man sitting on the ground and mumbling prayers.

“Are you alright?”

“Am I alright? I saw a demon! I saw a demon taking another patient! How do you think I feel?” The man bowed his head and started mumbling prayers again.

“Where did he take him? Please, I need to know. My friend is in danger.” The man stared at him, fear blown his eyes wide.

“The roof,” he whispered and Kankri ran. Kankri ran, his heart racing as adrenaline pumped through his veins. He sprinted up the stairs, a sense of deja-vu settling over him. Just yesterday Cronus had bounded up some stairs in an effort to save him. Kankri had no doubts that Kurloz was going to try to end everything here, but what purpose could this serve? Was the demon so obsessed with him that he thought if he removed everything from Kankri’s life that he held dear, the demon would be able to keep him for forever? No, Kankri promised. He would do everything in his power to save the one who had actually shown him happiness, even while he was flying high on Kurloz’s miracles. Cronus had always been there for him. He would now return that favor.

Kankri slammed the door open as he reached the roof, scanning the area until his gaze landed on the tall form of Kurloz. Kurloz turned at the sound and Kankri saw Cronus’ unresponsive body in the demon’s arms.

“Kurloz!” He shouted and Kurloz growled, lifting Cronus up from his arms. He stretched out his arm, facing Kankri, and held Cronus past the edge of the building. Kurloz was an image of pure rage and betrayal, his very image shaking and shimmering unstably in the morning light.

“Sweet dreams, motherfucker.” Kurloz snarled and released his grip. For once in his life, Kankri didn’t think through his actions. He dashed forward, a scream bursting from his lips. He brushed past Kurloz and the demon’s image disappeared in a blink of the eye and then Kankri was falling off the building. He reached for Cronus, somehow, somehow grabbing him and curling around him. He was here. He’d keep Cronus safe. The ground rushed up to meet them and

Cronus sat up with a start. It took him a moment to realize that he was not at home and that he was not in his bed. He breathed in a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart.

“Oh, you’re awake, Cronus.” Cronus turned his head at the voice, seeing Kankri in a bed on the other side of the hospital room, laying his book down in his lap.

“What…?”

“We’re in the hospital. It’s been a few days.” Kankri replied softly, casually. “Doctor Scratch said that it’d be a while before the drugs filtered fully out of our systems and so it was the best option for us to remain here. We’re safe here.” Cronus stared disbelieving at Kankri and the young man gave him a small smile. “Calm down, Cronus; it was only a dream.”

“And… Kurloz?” Kankri sighed, looking down at his book. He was quiet for a few moments before he finally shook his head and stared out the window.

“I don’t know.”

**♒**

**♋**

**♑**

_Come, my children. I promise we’ll treat you good. We’ll treat you good and bring those mirthful smiles back from the depths of the hell you live in. We’ll treat you good. We’ll make all those terrible and horrible demons disappear. We’ll treat you good._

_No charge, no side effects, guaranteed to change your life._


End file.
